tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78466153557511992172024-03-13T14:06:21.203-07:00Sarah Ebner: Comment, Opinion, Musingfamily travel timeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16253129730240938777noreply@blogger.comBlogger41125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7846615355751199217.post-44864792189334383942010-09-19T10:52:00.001-07:002010-09-19T10:55:21.878-07:00How teaching went back to cool...Hello. On Friday I had a piece in the Times about a remarkable woman called Kate Campion-Smith. She is a "Teach First" teacher (she came to the profession via the charity Teach First) so I also looked at that organisation.<br />You can see the piece (with a nice pic of Kate) <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/education/article2729310.ece">on the Times website </a>(subscription required).<br /><br />Here is my original piece, which is a little longer.<br /><br />By Sarah Ebner<br /><br />Despite her modesty, charm and friendly manner, Kate Campion-Smith is clearly a winner. The 25-year-old science graduate, recently named best new teacher in London and the South East at the Teaching Awards, is now favourite to win the nationwide prize at the end of October. But she’s not just a poster girl for good teaching – Campion-Smith represents something new in the education world.<br />What’s particularly special about Campion-Smith is that she came to the profession via the education charity, Teach First. And she epitomises the organisation’s vision.<br />“I never intended to teach,” she says, “but I was looking for something I agreed with. The principles behind Teach First are fantastic. I wanted to be useful.”<br />Teach First was set up in 2002 by Brett Wigdortz, an American working in London for management consultant McKinsey’s. While looking at how business could help education, Wigdortz was struck by the idea that disadvantaged children might benefit by placing top graduates into their schools. He was told by that his plan would never work, but has proved the doubters wrong. Teach First had 5,000 applications for 560 positions this year and is now the biggest recruiter of Oxbridge graduates – around eight percent of final year students.<br />“I always thought it would be as successful as it is,” says Wigdortz nonchalantly. “People want to make an impact with their lives and we have a mission – to eradicate educational disadvantage.” <br />Campion-Smith is a typical recruit (although she balks a bit when it comes to talking about the very-American sounding “mission”). Unsure of what to do after university (a first in Natural Sciences from Cambridge), she was attracted by the charity’s uncompromising belief that graduates want to “make a difference.” <br />It’s not surprising that Campion-Smith was attracted by the idea of helping others. It may sound a little clichéd, but she comes across as a “good person. She is a regular Church-goer and even runs her own charity, Esuubi, which she set up after travelling to Uganda in her gap year. In fact, Campion-Smith even talks of emigrating to Uganda in the future. <br />“The girls I teach here aren’t starving” she says succinctly. <br />Campion-Smith grew up in Eastbourne and attended a local comprehensive where she was a star pupil. The school didn’t have a sixth form, so she joined the private Eastbourne College for her A levels. But her time at the college didn’t change her view that private education was “unfair”. Now Campion-Smith is determined that all children should have the same opportunities, and that educational achievements shouldn’t be dependent on parental income.<br />She joined Cator Park School in Bromley, Kent, three years ago. Meryl Davies, the head teacher of the 1200 strong comprehensive (all girls except for a mixed sixth form) is a big Teach First fan, but Campion-Smith made a particularly strong impression.<br />“Kate’s been outstanding since her first lesson,” says Davies enthusiastically. “Not all Teach First graduate have perfect classroom management skills when they arrive; that comes with experience. But Kate had it straight away. She’s gives the girls real self-belief.”<br />Campion-Smith would probably be embarrassed to hear her head teacher’s effusive endorsement, but seems to deserve it. She not only teaches science at the school (a petition was circulated by one GCSE group demanding that she should teach them), but runs the Gifted and Talented programme, Duke of Edinburgh award scheme, debating club as well as mentoring those looking to go to university.<br />“Kate’s enthusiasm led to the school’s largest ever uptake for triple science,” says Davies. “She even organised master-classes, involving exploding jelly babies, rocket launching and dissecting mice.”<br />But Campion-Smith arrived, as all Teach First graduates do, with little classroom experience. She had taken part in the organisation’s intensive six week summer scheme and was launched into the classroom soon afterwards.<br />“It was a baptism of fire,” she says with a smile. “A lot of people underestimate how hard teaching is, but you learn quickly and I was very fortunate in terms of the support I had.”<br />All Teach First graduates have mentors, both in school and outside, but it’s still a challenge. <br />“I knew I would have to find a way to teach the girls who don’t want to learn,” she says. “So I just thought about how I would want to be engaged. I tried to relate things to everyday life – to things they were interested in, such as make-up or fashion.”<br />Campion-Smith is the first Teach First “alumnus” to win a Teaching Award, but the organisation is hoping she’ll be the first of many. From just two staff in 2002, Brett Wigdortz’s organisation has grown to 140, and also become the darling of the Conservative party.<br />Michael Gove is a vocal supporter, and although there have been education cuts elsewhere, he recently announced a £4 million grant to expand Teach First recruitment to over 1,000 teachers across England. <br />It’s an interesting decision because it appears to show the government means business when it talks of addressing educational disadvantage and social mobility. <br />Wigdortz himself says that he wants to produce the “next generation of head teachers and leaders.”<br />But Teach First is not without its detractors, particularly from those who point out that academic excellence (around a quarter of this year’s intake graduated with firsts) doesn’t always result in outstanding teaching. Its training is also expensive, while many are unhappy that so many teachers leave after the initial two year programme finishes.<br />Anastasia de Waal, Head of Education at the think tank Civitas, is one sceptic.<br />“The very clear message is “teach first before getting a proper job’” she says. “It also assumes that any old graduate with a fairly good degree can teach and as importantly, no teaching practice or interaction with pupils is required before going into the classroom – never mind any pedagogical background. All of these things are terrible for the status of teaching as a profession, but even more importantly, misunderstand what makes a good teacher.”<br />Such concerns have long been heard across the Atlantic, where Teach For America is also a huge recruiter of top graduates. Teaching unions in the States are often less than complimentary about this scheme, while research seems to show that Teach for America teachers don’t achieve more impressive results than those trained conventionally.<br />However, Brett Wigdortz has heard these arguments before and is unimpressed. He’s keen to emphasise that Teach First isn’t connected with Teach for America, and convinced that his programme works – and works well.<br />He’s also not concerned that so many Teach First teachers – around 50 percent - leave the profession after two years. <br />“I never want anyone to leave our mission,” he says. “They are in education for the long-term, although they may not stay teachers. Our alumni may become businessmen, politicians or civil servants – that’s the way to create systemic change.”<br />However, Teach First’s biggest effect may not be in its graduates, but in altering the reputation of the profession. Might the charity be responsible for making the public think that teaching is a “good thing”?<br />“They’ve definitely made it a more glamorous option than it would have been otherwise,” says Campion-Smith, while Lily Eastwood, another Teach First teacher adds that it “does seem to have some kudos now.”<br />“I can’t think of a more exciting job to do,” adds Eastwood, “but it does make me a bit uncomfortable when people talk to me like I’m a saint.”<br />Eastwood also mentions the hit American television series, The Wire, which recently introduced a storyline involving an inner city teacher.<br />“I don’t think any teacher can watch that and not feel the pain,” she says with a laugh. “Maybe teaching is cool now, until you actually try it.”<br />Brett Wigdortz is not quite as sure about the “cool” tag.<br />“If people think teaching children from poorer backgrounds is cool – that’s not a bad thing,” he says after some thought. “But my long-term goal isn’t about that at all. What I want is for there to be no correlation between parental income and educational achievement. I’d like to see schools full of teachers with the Teach First ethos.”<br />Ends<br /><br />The Teaching Awards national ceremony takes place on October 31st (http://www.teachingawards.com/)<br /><br />For more on Teach First, http://www.teachfirst.org.uk/<br /><br />For more information about Esuubi, visit http://www.esuubi.org.uk/ or contact Esuubi, 8 Overbrae, Beckenham, Kent BR3 1SXfamily travel timeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16253129730240938777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7846615355751199217.post-77604314842700682982010-08-20T04:51:00.000-07:002010-08-20T04:55:31.029-07:00Is the summer bad for your child's brain?Hello<br /><br />I had this article published in the Times earlier this week - it's about the so-called "summer slide" and what you can do about it.<br />You can see it on <a href="http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/education/article2689113.ece">the Times site</a>: <br /><br />However, the article was cut somewhat, so I thought I'd put it on here in all its glory! I really think this is an interesting topic, that there's a danger some parents might try to stuff their children full of lessons all summer, while others (whose children really need to keep up with their reading, for example) do nothing.<br /><br />Here you are:<br /><br />By Sarah Ebner<br /><br />School’s out. The holidays stretch before us and more learning is unlikely to be near the top of your children’s summer to-do list. Well, perhaps it’s time for them –and us - to think again. Don’t you know that the summer can damage your child’s brain?<br />I write the Times education blog, School Gate, and in the last few weeks I’ve been inundated with suggestions for ways to stop your child falling behind over the summer break. Carol Vorderman has launched her own online maths summer schools, recommending that children (aged five and over) “forge ahead with 15 minutes of fun practice a day”. She’s joined by Maths-Whizz, which offers a similar way to “beat summer learning loss” and education site MyChild, which has its own summer camp. It’s “packed with fun learning activities for each week of the summer holidays” as well as worksheets. It’s enough to make a parent paranoid.<br />“If you’re not being stimulated, you’re going to forget things,” says Amy Schofield, editor of MyChild. “You need to keep the brain active.”<br />Summer learning loss is something of a new phenomenon. It hit the headlines last year when Johns Hopkins University in America published research suggesting that schoolchildren lost an average of two months learning over the summer holidays. This was if parents failed to keep them “mentally active.”<br />Of course the issue does make some sense. If we adults didn’t work for six weeks, we would also probably fall behind. But we are talking about children here. Don’t they need some time off?<br />“My feeling is that kids do need occupying, but not like this,” says Annie Ashworth, co-author of the Madness of Modern Families. “They have a lot of intensive work throughout the year and I know that mine, for example, are exhausted by the time the summer comes. Perhaps they should read occasionally so they don’t forget how to do it. But I don’t think advanced maths is the way forward.”<br />Of course it was all very different in our day. Six weeks might have been filled with a short holiday, perhaps a summer camp, and lots of trips to the park and seeing friends. Now parents are being told sternly that this isn’t enough and that we’re failing our kids if we don’t keep the learning going. So should we worry? Annie Ashworth isn’t convinced. <br />“These stories of summer learning loss just add to parental guilt,” she says. <br />And even though she’s keen to promote her e-learning summer camp, Amy Schofield admits that the brain drain is new to her.<br />“We didn’t hear anything about it when we were kids”, she admits. “Now we’re all really child-centred and neurotic. There’s an emphasis on learning, learning, learning all the time.”<br />Dylan Wiliam [NB: correct spelling of Wiliam] is professor of educational assessment at the Institute of Education. He says that summer learning loss does exist, but that we need to keep it in perspective.<br />“There is no doubt that children learn stuff in school and forget it when they’re not in school,” he says. “There is a dip. But when it comes to seeing how serious that is and how quickly a child can make it up, then that’s a very difficult question to answer.”<br />Professor Wiliam also points out that most of the research on this issue is from the United States, where they have much longer summer holidays. “That definitely makes a difference,” he says. <br />The issue of “summer learning loss” began gathering momentum in 1992 when a group of students at Johns Hopkins tutored pupils from Baltimore public schools during the summer. The project was a great success and boosted the students’ reading scores.<br />At the same time, numerous academics were writing about the “summer slide” whereby academic skills dropped over the summer months. They discovered that this appeared to affect low-income students disproportionately, so widening the gap between richer and poorer. <br />“There are some people who allege that almost the entire difference between the performance of disadvantaged and advantaged children aged 18 is down to summer learning loss,” says Professor Wiliam. “But it also depends on the kind of curriculum you follow. If you’re talking about shallow learning, remembering facts and dates, then a child probably will forget those over a long break.”<br />However, what’s particularly interesting about the research is that reading aptitude seems to drop the most. This is, of course, something which parents could easily address themselves simply by encouraging their children to read over the summer or taking them to the library. It’s not really rocket science….<br />Tim Gill, author of No Fear: Growing Up in a Risk Averse Society, agrees. He’s horrified by the idea of summer learning and also unhappy because he feels that the issue is tied up with merchandising (Carol Vorderman’s Summer School package, for example costs a minimum of £12,99).<br />“No one makes money if more kids go to the park and play with other kids,” says Gill. “Children need time for themselves over the summer and especially out of doors. This is just market opportunities – latching onto anxieties and amplifying them.<br />“I don’t want to tell other parents how to do their job,” adds Gill, “but I just wonder who’s fuelling this. Who is looking at our kids and saying ‘wow they need more worksheets?<br />“It’s unquestionable that some children need more support for the basics. But the irony is that these online summer schools or worksheets are going to be done by the sharp elbowed middle classes.”<br />In Newhaven on the South Coast, Christine Terrey [NB: correct spelling of Terrey] runs Grays Nursery and Infant School. It’s a school which has many pupils eligible for free school meals and a high number with special needs. There aren’t many sharp elbowed middle classes to be found here. And yet the school’s learning programme has been a big success.<br />“I think that most schools are aware that over the summer break, children slip back in their learning,” says Terrey, who’s been headteacher at Grays for the last five years. “We’d just never investigated how much.”<br />Two years ago, Terrey decided to look into the matter and assessed the children before the school broke up in July and again on their return in September. She was shocked by her findings - twenty two children had a summer learning loss in reading, sixteen in writing and twelve in maths.<br />Terrey and her staff realised that some children weren’t looking at a book for the entire summer. “We decided we weren’t giving parents enough guidance,” she says. “Things had to change.”<br />The first innovation was lending school library books over the holidays. The second was to set up the Summer Fun Learning Challenge. This involved putting special pages on the school’s internet learning platform, adding links to other useful sites and recommending that children make their own scrapbooks of what they’d got up to over the break.<br />“Every child who made a scrapbook got a certificate, as did everyone who logged on,” says Terrey. “I saw a lot of movement on the site in August, which was great. We had no sanctions for those who didn’t get involved, only rewards and praise for those who did.”<br />The results were impressive. Last September, only seven children had a summer learning loss in reading, eight in writing and five in maths. Terrey is hoping for even better results this year.<br />“There’s always been an issue with summer learning loss,” she says firmly. “Children fall behind when they’re not doing anything. The problem is that schools didn’t know how to measure it and haven’t always planned good ways of dealing with it.”<br />So parents, try to make sure your children pick up a book this summer or do something else to stimulate their brains. But don’t worry too much. They’re unlikely to fall disastrously behind if times tables aren’t practised daily.<br />“I’m very resistant to this idea that, as parents, our job is to expend every last sinew of sweat in getting that extra grade,” says Tim Gill. “Children need time and space on their own. That’s how they are given the chance to become real people.”family travel timeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16253129730240938777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7846615355751199217.post-84060071287334694492010-06-16T06:43:00.001-07:002010-06-16T06:46:00.520-07:00When should children learn to read?This is a very controversial question - and there is so much to say about it!<br /><br />I recently wrote about it for Times 2 and you can see <a href="http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/education/article7147822.ece">that here</a>, or the slightly longer version, below....<br />The one in the Times, also included two opinion pieces, one in favour of early reading and one against.<br /><br />By Sarah Ebner<br /><br />Over the border in Wales, young children are experiencing a different kind of education. Whilst experts here laud Scandinavia for their educational expertise, how many English parents know that in Wales, they are already following a play-based curriculum up until the age of seven? And there haven’t been any riots, yet.<br />“At the beginning there was a bit of distrust from the parents,” says Sarah Owen, a mother of three (and former teacher) from Welshpool. “We all knew that play was important, but I know that a lot of us were wondering how our children would learn to read if they were playing all the time. After all, it’s drilled into us that the sooner you learn to read, the better.”<br />Sarah has two children, Meg, 10 and Tom, 8, who are too old to have experienced the new Foundation Phase in Wales. Five-year-old Carys, however, is taking full advantage.<br />“I think it’s the right way to go,” says Sarah. “She is definitely stimulated, but also seems to have this more joyous feeling about school. They do a lot of outdoor play, but she is reading too – they introduce this at the child’s own level. As long as a child has access to books and enjoys them, reading will come naturally.”<br />Sarah’s views are relevant as they come in the middle of a heated debate about the value of early schooling and particularly when children should be taught to read. New research published this week was interpreted in two startlingly different ways. Some claimed it showed early teaching had no impact on children at the age of five; others said quite the opposite.<br />However, David Richardson, co-author of the new study, says it does show that children who attend pre-school before the age of three do better – both educationally and socially -at age five.<br />“Our evidence suggests that early years do have an impact,” he said. <br />So when should children learn to read? Can they be damaged (or put off reading) by starting too early or fall behind if they start too late? The problem is that there’s no definitive answer – even though educationalists have very strong opinions.<br />“Up to the age of six or seven, the true foundations of literacy are caught, not taught. We have to invest in training practitioners in how to help children catch them,” says Sue Palmer, author of Toxic Childhood.<br />Palmer thinks there’s “no rush” to teach children to read, and is particularly unhappy about the targets set in the English early years curriculum. She points to Finland, with its very high literacy rates. Children there don’t start formal reading until they’re seven.<br />Palmer also emphasises new research by Sebastian Suggate (NB: see his opinion piece attached) which suggests that there’s no advantage at all in learning to read early.<br />However, although Palmer seems to be firmly on one side of the argument, much of what she says will ring true with those who support earlier education. <br />“I think there’s a set of bunker positions put into this,” says John Bangs, head of education for the National Union of Teachers. “It’s really an unfair polarity.<br />“No one is going to recommend forcing phonics on kids at a very early age, but having fun with words and phonics is exactly right. Picking up reading skills is part of child development, but the key is for the children to have fun.”<br />However, Bangs also adds:<br />“There’s this idea that kids are going to be polluted by teaching before a certain age. I don’t believe that. I don’t have a problem with age barriers.”<br />Those who argue that reading should be taught as early as possible often point to disadvantaged children to make their case. There is an increasing body of research which suggests that children with educated parents have an advantage. However, others can be helped by good pre-school care.<br />This is shown in particular by the landmark research being carried out by the EPPE (Effective Provision of Pre-school Education) project. It concludes that pre-school does have an impact - as long as it’s of good quality.<br />“Yes, it benefits children,” says Professor Pamela Sammons, from the Department of Education at Oxford University. “It provides them with a better start to school, with the biggest boost to language development at age five.”<br />And when it comes to reading, Professor Sammons says you simply need a light touch. <br />“There’s lot of evidence that if you don’t learn to read, you become demotivated later on,” she says. “But it doesn’t have to be at the expense of having fun. You can play with letter sounds, sing songs and nursery rhymes, at home and at pre-school. We’re not talking about formal teaching behind desks.”<br />Perhaps this point should be emphasised for those people without young children. The way schools teach their youngest pupils has changed in recent years, with much more of a stress on play. Widespread use of phonics has also made a real difference, and despite the sense of gloom and doom around literacy, England still performs well in international studies.<br />So there’s no quick answer to when a child should learn to read, except that there is no hard or fast rule! The quality of the teacher is vital as is the recognition that all children are different. Phonics appears to help, and over-prescription doesn’t. And above all, play is vital.<br /><br />The Effective Pre-school and Primary Education (EPPE) project is the largest European study of the impact of early years education and care on children’s developmental outcomes. Early Childhood Matters, edited by Kathy Sylva, Edward Melhuish, Pam Sammons, Iram Siraj-Blatchford, Brenda Taggart has just been published by Routledge.family travel timeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16253129730240938777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7846615355751199217.post-29271277933058653202010-06-16T06:41:00.001-07:002010-06-16T06:42:30.904-07:00Horrible historians and writing the books - Terry Deary interviewI also did a lengthy Terry Deary interview - which you can <a href="http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/books/article7139340.ece">read here </a>or below....<br /><br /><strong>Of horrid historians and terrible teachers</strong><br /><br /><em>Terry Deary wishes he wasn't best known for writing the Horrible Histories series Sarah Ebner </em><br /><br />Terry Deary hates publishing and historians — an interesting combination given that he owes his fame and fortune to both. But Deary, a self-described anarchist, is a rather unusual man. <br /><br />He is best known as the author of the Horrible Histories series of books, which are much loved by children around the world. Yet the 64-year-old says that he wants to turn his back on writing for children, is hugely critical of publishing (calling it “the seediest profession I’ve worked in”) and reserves his bile for historians, whom he calls “seedy and devious”. <br /><br />“They pick on a particular angle and they select their facts to prove their case and make a name for themselves,” he says angrily. “They don’t write straight history. They don’t write objective history. Obnoxious people such as Niall Ferguson write a book to prove that the British Empire was a good thing. They use history to make a political point.” <br /><br />Deary’s grey hair and soft Sunderland accent give the impression that he’s mild-mannered. It’s deceptive. In reality, although he’s friendly and open, he has a huge number of bugbears, including politicians and fellow children’s authors. <br /><br />But chief among these are historians. Deary says that they’re what stop him loving history and denies, indignantly, that his books are history books at all.“I write about people,” he says firmly. “And that’s the most fascinating subject in the world.” <br /><br />However, Deary’s success is partly due to the historians he despises. The Horrible Histories, after all, retell historical facts collated from other books, rather than original sources. Deary doesn’t actually do any of the research himself — something I found a little disappointing. Instead, a team of researchers find the quirky facts, all those ancient swear words and toilet practices among them. <br /><br />“My skill is retelling,” explains Deary, unapologetically. “I’m a writer, not a historian. My job is to re-present what the researchers find and make that information accessible to young readers.” <br /><br />The books are incredibly popular, appealing to boys and girls, the holy grail of children’s publishing. They have been turned into stage plays, museum exhibitions (one of these, Terrible Trenches, is currently showing at the Imperial War Museum) and a very successful television series, which starts again today. <br /><br />They are known for history with all the horrible bits left in — the gruesome and disgusting, including snot, bile and blood, wrapped up with cartoon-like illustrations and accurate historical information. Deary writes an introduction to each book, explaining that it will be “full of the sort of facts that teachers never bother to tell you”. <br /><br />The books are not always objective — which is the exact criticism levelled by Deary against historians. The one on the British Empire, for example, is extremely biased against imperialism. But Deary says that this is deliberate. “I’m putting the weight on the other side of the balance, to counteract the lies teachers tell you when you’re at school,” he says gleefully. “Yes, I do write polemics. I write antiestablishment rants. I make no claim at all to be writing objective history. Why I object to history books for adults is that they do claim to be objective. <br /><br />“Horrible Histories are, from start to finish, a rant against the privileged,” he continues, warming to his theme. “All the posh people, the lords and the nobles, and their lackies, the police, the army and the teachers who purvey what the lords want — they are the enemy. And what makes me especially angry, because I’m not a historian, is when I start to study history and I find out the way in which common people have been manipulated, beaten, bullied and abused down the ages. Someone needs to stand up for them.” <br /><br />Despite the platform that Horrible Histories has given him, Deary is more than a little grumpy about his strong association with the books. Why? Because the books are more famous than he is. “Horrible Histories is of very little interest to me because I don’t own the brand,” he says, adding that while people have heard of the books, they often haven’t heard of him. “The brand is stronger than me.” <br /><br />The series began back in the early 1990s when Deary, an actor who had moved into writing children’s books, was commissioned to write a Father Christmas joke book. It sold well, so the publisher (Scholastic) asked him to write a history joke book. <br /><br />Scholastic then asked Deary to add some interesting facts to the jokes. “When I started to look at the facts, I realised that they were more interesting than the jokes. So instead of a joke book with facts, you had a fact book with jokes. Horrible Histories was born.” <br /><br />The first two books, Terrible Tudors and Awesome Egyptians, were written to tie in with the National Curriculum (ironic, as Deary hates conventional education). They were moderately successful and more books were commissioned. But it wasn’t until 1995 that they really took off, with Blitzed Brits promoted to tie in with the anniversary of the end of the Second World War. <br /><br />More than 20 million copies of the books have now been sold worldwide, and children (including my own) can’t get enough of them. Deary has become one of the most popular living authors in the UK and Scholastic is even planning a Horrible Histories virtual online world for next year. <br /><br />But Deary seems quite under-whelmed by his achievements. “Children’s authors are held in such low esteem, it drags me down,” he says. “You meet strangers and they ask, ‘What do you do?’ You say ‘I’m a writer’ and they reply, ‘Oh, that’s interesting’. Then you tell them you’re a children’s writer — that’s way down the list. And you say ‘my best-known books are non-fiction’. Then you’re somewhere off the bottom of the scale!” <br /><br />There’s more to Deary than Horrible Histories — which helps to explain the apparent chip on his shoulder. He clearly loved his acting career and has written more than 150 other books — their relatively low profile is an obvious irritation. <br /><br />He’s also still angry about his education (he says that he hated school and “school hated me”) and resents that his talent as a writer wasn’t nurtured or encouraged. He didn’t go to university (one of the first things he says to me is that he doesn’t have a degree), instead spending a year working for the Electricity Board and then attending drama college. He still loves acting, but admits with a sigh: “I’m not as good an actor as I am a writer.” <br /><br />Deary’s wife used to be a teacher, and before his writing career took off, he taught drama and English. So it may come as a surprise to find just how much he fumes at the thought that his books might now be recommended by educators. “If my books appear in schools, I get tainted,” he says passionately. “I don’t want to be tarred by schools. I want to be outside the system. I went to school. I was beaten, bullied and abused, by the teachers, not the pupils. I learnt nothing worth learning.” <br /><br />He thinks that education should change radically, and schools should be closed down. “You give me the £50 billion that we put into the so-called education system and I will come up with an alternative.” <br /><br />Deary now has a new agent and is keen to turn his back on Horrible Histories and other children’s books. He has already written a few more Horrible Histories (which are yet to be published), but has no plans for any more. His aim is to “diversify” and write adult fiction instead. <br /><br />“I’m 64 years old. I don’t want to be 74 and still churning out the same thing. It’s time for a new career direction,” he says. “I never wanted to write any in the first place.”family travel timeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16253129730240938777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7846615355751199217.post-7716861418059407692010-06-16T06:37:00.001-07:002010-06-16T06:42:56.890-07:00Horrible histories and horrible historians!I have been a bit lax about posting my articles on here - partly because I post so often on <a href="http://www.timesonline.co.uk/schoolgate">School Gate</a><br /><br />But I have had a few pieces of interest in the paper recently....<br /><br />Firstly, I had a news piece and interview with Terry Deary (author of Horrible Histories) which was great fun. <a href="http://timesonline.typepad.com/schoolgate/2010/05/terry-deary-and-horrible-histories-come-and-ask-the-author-your-questions.html">I also did a live chat with him on the blog</a>, which I really enjoyed, partly because so many children came along. You can read it again on the link I've just popped in.<br /><br />Here's the news story - http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article7140660.ece<br /><br />Or you can read it below....<br /><br /><strong>Historians are seedy and horrible, says Terry Deary, children’s author</strong><br /><br />Sarah Ebner <br />He owes his success to history, but the author Terry Deary has described historians as “seedy and devious”. <br /><br />The bestselling writer of the Horrible Histories series added that all historians were out to “make a name for themselves”, denied that his books were history books at all and even started a spat with Niall Ferguson, one of Britain’s best-known historians. <br /><br />“Historians are nearly as seedy and devious as politicians,” Deary, 64, said. “They pick on a particular angle and select the facts to prove their case and make a name for themselves ... They don’t write objective history.” <br /><br />Deary — whose books have sold more than 20 million copies — does not like any historians. “Eventually you can see through them all,” he said. “They all come with a twist.” However, he reserved his greatest ire for Ferguson, the former Oxford historian who now lectures at Harvard University. <br /><br />“Obnoxious people like Niall Ferguson write a book to prove that the British Empire was a good thing,” Deary said. “He’s a deeply offensive right-wing man who uses history to get across a political point.” <br /><br />In response, Ferguson admitted to surprise that Deary was commenting on his work. “It’s a little like asking Rory Bremner for his opinion on George Osborne’s spending cuts or Sacha Baron Cohen to review Simon Schama’s forthcoming history of the Jews,” he said. “I have read some of the Horrible Histories to my children, along with Harry Potter, The Hobbit and many other children’s books. They’re quite funny. And so is this.” <br /><br />“You say that Terry Deary thinks my book Empire had ‘a political point’. I am not sure what that means. The book argued that there were benefits as well as costs to the British Empire, which is not a political point but a historical judgment. Terry Deary says that he ‘wants to be anti-Establishment’. That sounds more like someone who is trying to get across a political point.” <br /><br />The Horrible Histories series relates historical events in a way that attracts children — with blood and gore. However, Deary (who got a D in his history A level) said he did not write “history books”, but “about people”. He added that his aim was to “counteract the lies” told by teachers. <br /><br />“For example, when I went to school, I was told Henry VIII was a bit cruel but that he was a good king because he was strong. That’s what I believed but it’s utter, utter evil to promote that idea. He was a psychopath who should never have been able to rule the country. And that is what the system allows.” <br /><br />Historians cannot decide whether to be grateful that Deary has attracted more children to the study of history, or angry at his attitude towards them. <br /><br />“Does this man go to the archive, or is he just a parasite on historians?” asked David Starkey, an expert on Henry VIII. “He does make a real point about a certain type of history, which is designed to put forward a case, but what on earth does ‘objective’ mean? In the reign of Henry VIII, for example, the main archive alone is 244 volumes of about 800 closely written pages each. That’s three million facts, and the historian has to select from them.” <br /><br />Paula Kitching, of the Historical Association, said: “We don’t want to throw insults backwards and forwards. But I’m surprised that he wants to attack history. There are many different kinds of historians out there and, whether he likes it or not, he’s falling into that category himself now.” <br /><br />Meanwhile, Catharine Edwards, Professor of Ancient History at Birkbeck, University of London, said that children “absolutely loved” the books. “If it takes toilets to get them interested in history, that’s fine. It’s the most gruesome side of things which attracts the young.” <br /><br />Deary admitted that he was disappointed to be so closely linked to the Horrible Histories series, because he does not own the brand. He is also keen to turn his back on children’s books and move on to adult fiction. “It’s time for a new career direction,” he said. <br /><br />Terry Deary will be taking part in a live chat on the Times education blog, School Gate, on Tuesday June 1 at noon. <br /><br />Horrible histories tour <br /><br />· During Roman feasts, guests could eat so much that they had to be sick, and a special room was set aside for them called a vomitorium. They would then go back into the dining room to continue eating <br /><br />· Cures for the plague included shaving a chicken’s bottom and strapping it to the plague sore <br /><br />· Elizabeth I did not want to have her rotten teeth removed. To show her how easy and painless it was, the Bishop of London had one of his own teeth taken out while she watched <br /><br />· James I picked his nose and never washed his hands <br /><br />· Queen Victoria’s son-in-law would have his collection of glass eyes delivered to him at dinner parties <br /><br />· In the First World War soldiers were told to urinate on a handkerchief and tie it round their face to protect them from a gas attackfamily travel timeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16253129730240938777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7846615355751199217.post-62655603222867021072009-09-23T09:57:00.000-07:002009-09-23T10:00:29.740-07:00Starting school - advice for all..In my guise as editor of <a href="http://www.timesonline.co.uk/schoolgate">School Gate</a>, I wrote a piece for the Times Body and Soul section on starting school<br /><br />You can read it by clicking on <a href="http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/education/article6811008.ece">this link </a> or by reading on.....(the one below has a little bit more detail)<br /><br />What you need to know before starting Reception<br />By Sarah Ebner.<br /><br />Julia Stokes has spent much of the summer preparing her son, Oliver, for school. He doesn’t know his letters, nor is he already taking lessons in Kumon maths. Instead, Oliver Stokes has been practising putting on and taking off his plimsolls and learning to wipe his own bottom.<br /><br />“Because I’m a teacher I know about the practicalities of school,” says Julia, 39. “He’ll soon learn his letters, I’m not bothered about that. I’m worried that he’ll get stuck getting changed for PE or that going to the toilet will be an awful experience for him because he’s so used to me helping him out.”<br /><br />Over the next few weeks, tens of thousands of four (and a few five) year olds will start school for the first time. It’s a nerve-racking time for them – research from the Economic and Social Research Council suggests that children show signs of stress for three to six months before they actually start Reception - and also for their parents. Many a mother or father has needed a tissue after dropping their child off for the first time.<br /><br />But is there anything parents can do to best prepare their children – and themselves – for school? The answer, fortunately is yes. And these tips can range from buying shoes with easy fastening (your child will need to get them on and off himself) to preparing yourself for no news (young children are absolutely brilliant at not giving information. “I don’t know” appears to be the stock answer to the question “What did you do today?”).<br /><br />Anju Chauhan has been the Reception teacher at Dane Royd school in Wakefield, Yorkshire, for 13 years. She thinks that parents have a practical, as well as emotional role to play, and agrees with Julia Stokes that helping a child develop some independence can definitely help.<br /><br />“Try to work on things like helping your child get dressed on their own, put their coat on and learn to use a zip,” she says. “It’s also helpful if they have learnt to tidy up games and toys at home and if they can write their name. That gives the child ownership.”<br /><br />Anju’s also convinced that getting children involved – in shopping trips for uniform and bags – helps build up their excitement and motivation. “You must talk to them about it,” she adds, apparently stating the obvious, until she explains that some parents don’t do this. Their offspring can be somewhat shellshocked on the first day!<br /><br />Catherine Hanley, editor of Raising Kids.co.uk, agrees that preparation is important. And like Julia Stokes, she flags up toilets as a key issue. <br /><br />“Children don’t necessarily verbalise it, but they really worry about this,” says Catherine. “Find out where the toilets are, and if there is a class policy on when to go. You don’t want them coming home cross-legged.”<br /><br />“Kids are very anxious to fit in,” adds Catherine. “So you can also help them by finding out about school policies, such as what is and isn’t allowed in lunchboxes. If you give children something particularly unusual, they won’t eat it.”<br /><br />Mother of three Paula Collar will soon be settling her middle son, Thomas, into Primary One (the Scottish equivalent of Reception) in Stewart Melville school in Edinburgh. However, she feels better prepared this time - having gone through the experience once before with Jonathan, now six and a half. <br /><br />“Parents worry about how their children will manage,” she says. “But I would flag up one thing in particular – how absolutely exhausted the kids will be at the end of the school day.<br /><br />“Don’t bother planning loads of after-school activities,” adds Paula, 37. “It’ll be too much for them – and you. So hold off on those Mandarin classes or face their wrath!”<br /><br />Dealing with very tired children is just one consequence of their starting school. Another is competition with other parents and children, whether intended or not. You’ll soon spot this type of parent, as they’re the ones who ask you lots of questions, such as what level of reading book your child is on. But you need to remain stoic in the face of pressure. Reception class is not a race.<br /><br />“All children are different,” agrees Paula Collar. “So don’t worry if yours is not immediately holding a pen properly, or if their cutting out takes a while longer than the other kids. They are still growing and developing at a phenomenal rate; you’ll be amazed by what they can do at the end of the year.”<br /><br />In other words, everything is transitory. Your child may not be able to read in September, but hopefully by July, he will (if not, then perhaps you should flag this up). She or he may cry when you drop him off in the mornings or find it difficult to make friends, but all these are stages. Starting school is a big change and your child may well need support and comfort. But the stress and the tears will (or at least should) pass.<br /><br />However, school is still a complicated place. It’s somewhere children go to learn, but also to socialise, to develop and make friends. With up to 30 children in a class, you need to warn yours that he or she will have to wait for a teacher to answer a query.<br /><br />When they start school, children also enter a different world of play dates, which you, as their parent have to negotiate. Remember, you can’t choose your child’s friends. If they make friends with someone who you don’t warm to, then you’ll just have to make more of an effort!<br /><br />In other words, starting school can be hard for parents too. Not only do we lose a lot of control over our child’s life, but we too have to make new friends - or at least acquaintances – amongst the parents. This can be hard if you’re shy and is harder if you work and aren’t at school drop off or pick up. Try, if possible, to be there sometimes. It will probably make life much easier and help you and your child.<br /><br />Probably the most important thing to remember is that Reception or Primary One lasts a year, not a day or week. So focus on settling in your own child, and don’t worry about how everyone else is doing. And keep those tissues handy.<br /><br />Five practical tips for settling in:<br /><br />1) Label everything<br />- your child is sure to lose almost every part of his uniform. If it is labelled, you at least have a chance of getting it back. Include shoes!<br />2) Make sure bedtime is not too late on school nights<br />- otherwise your child will be even more exhausted and ratty, so finding it hard to make friends and enjoy their new school.<br />3) If the school has a uniform warn your child<br />- lots of parents forget to do this, and find that their daughters won’t wear trousers or their sons won’t wear a particular colour.<br />4) Don’t buy all your uniform in one go<br />- Children grow. If you buy a summer dress now, the chances are that it won’t fit your daughter next May.<br />5) Check your child’s book bag for any school correspondence<br />- letters are often popped in here, but children usually forget to tell you<br /><br /><br />Sarah Ebner edits School Gate, the Times education blog. <a href="http://www.timesonline.co.uk/schoolgate">http://www.timesonline.co.uk/schoolgate</a>family travel timeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16253129730240938777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7846615355751199217.post-15237193016371592592009-08-12T10:33:00.001-07:002009-08-12T10:35:52.950-07:00Does the princess stereotype harm our daughters?I wrote this piece for The Times last week, and it's worth taking a peek at the original for the gorgeous picture of little Lizzie Gorham. This is a great topic, on which people have very divergent opinions! I initially wrote it to tie in with the news that a new princess, Tiana, is soon to hit out cinema screens.<br /><br /><a href="http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/families/article6737505.ece">Is the Princess stereotype harming our daughters?</a>family travel timeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16253129730240938777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7846615355751199217.post-11218739892252160962009-08-12T10:26:00.000-07:002009-08-12T10:32:25.133-07:00Being on an exam paperHello<br /><br />Delayed reaction on this one. A while ago I found out that an old comment piece I had written for the Guardian had surfaced on an A level exam paper. I began to get emails asking me for my motivation and decided to put pen to paper and write a piece about the experience for The Times.<br /><br />You can read my article <a href="http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article6440574.ece">here</a> or you can just read it below:<br /><br /><strong>Now I'm an A-level question. But do I have to help with the answers?</strong><br />Sarah Ebner <br /><br />I’ve finally made it. I should be flattered to be included among the greats — John Milton, David Hare and, er, Gary Rhodes — and I am. But I’m also a little surprised to find out that I’m on an A-level examination paper with these luminaries, especially as the exam isn’t until next week. <br /><br />Yes, you read that right. An article I wrote three years ago (ahem, for The Guardian) has been resurrected. It’s part of AQA’s English language and literature exam, which takes place on Wednesday. And I know about it because the exam board has already printed “Pre-release material” for the 6,600 students taking the paper. Oh yes, and because students have contacted me to ask questions about it. <br /><br />“I wondered if you could help me by letting me know things such as why you wrote the article, who it was aimed at and what was going on in your life when you wrote it,” asked one e-mail, trying to cover all bases. <br /><br />A 12-page booklet, issued to candidates last Wednesday, suggests that students should “use the time between receiving the material and the examination to familiarise yourself with its contents”. Brief annotations (the word “brief” is in bold) are allowed, as are highlighting and underlining, but annotations beyond this are not. I guess the examiners don’t want too much feedback from the authors. <br /><br />The theme of the exam is clearly food and none of the extracts is very long. In the exam, the pre-release examples will be compared with two “unseen” pieces of text. I’m intrigued to know what they are — will Willy Wonka or Gordon Ramsay make a surprise entry? <br /><br />The booklet says clearly that teachers are “not permitted” to discuss material before the examination. Well, teachers may not be allowed to discuss it, but students can do so with each other — and with the authors if they want to. The democratic nature of the internet does not seem to have been taken into account here, as a quick online trawl shows. A busy discussion on this very subject is taking place at the moment on the Student Room website (www.studentroom.co.uk). And of course, I’m receiving e-mails. <br /><br />If I’m honest, I’m surprised that there haven’t been more students with the nous to contact me directly and ask questions. Perhaps they’ve been thrown by the old Guardian e-mail address at the end of the piece and not popped my name into Google to find that I now work at The Times. I wonder: should the initiative of some be rewarded with an A* grade? <br /><br />“Students are encouraged to research them [the pre-release materials] independently,” says Catherine McCabe from AQA, who admits that contacting the author is not something she has ever heard of before. <br /><br />I was amused by the e-mails, even though I balk at doing someone’s work for them. However, I don’t have enough time to reply separately, so will tell my new friends — and you — why I wrote the piece. <br /><br />The article was entitled “Why real food isn’t real life” and was about children being given healthy, home-cooked meals. I particularly remember it because of the vitriolic comments the piece received. People seemed desperate to criticise me because I pointed out that cooking takes time, and that it’s difficult to fit everything in when you’re a mother and trying to work. <br /><br />I wrote the piece when my children were then aged 4 and 16 months, and I was trying to balance being the best mother I could be with trying to get work. As I had a toddler, cooking for a long time in the kitchen was not practical. The difficulties of that balancing act was what was on my mind, and the people commenting just didn’t get it. So much criticism was a real shock; how ironic that this article should end up being picked up at such a different time of my life. Students, does that help? <br /><br />But back to the exam. Ms McCabe says that pre-release materials are “by no means new” and that those who set the papers look for “good examples of use of language” (more flattery). <br /><br />Students are allowed to contact authors of the articles. “This does not, however, mean that you are obliged to answer them and you would not be putting them at any disadvantage if you didn’t wish to respond,” says Ms McCabe, putting my (admittedly not overly concerned) mind at rest. <br /><br />“If, however, you are happy to respond, then rest assured that neither you nor the students are breaking any rules.” <br /><br />Sarah Ebner is editor of School Gate — the Times Online blog guiding you through the maze of education. <br /><br />timesonline.co.uk/schoolgate<br /><br />The whole experience was a strange one as I received many abusive emails from A level candidates claiming that I was arguing that their exam was easy. I never wrote that. I also got abuse from people who argued that my piece was pure comment, with few facts to back my statements up. That infuriated me too - it was a comment piece! I always pride myself on writing with facts and backing things up, but this piece was not a feature or news article.<br /><br />I wrote a tie-in post on School Gate, entitled: <strong>Being on an exam paper, the texts included and how it makes me feel.... </strong> <a href="http://timesonline.typepad.com/schoolgate/2009/06/being-on-an-a-level-exam-paper.html">Please do take a look at it</a>, as I couldn't fit in everything I wanted to say in the piece!family travel timeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16253129730240938777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7846615355751199217.post-72909339469321206762009-03-18T09:00:00.000-07:002009-03-18T09:03:50.432-07:00The trouble with BoysI recently read a fascinating book by Peg Tyre called The Trouble with Boys. It's all about boys and education, how boys are different from girls and having real problems with education because of the way it's set up.<br /><br />I wrote about this for The Times, and you can see the piece <a href="http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/education/school_league_tables/article5877032.ece">here </a>or below.<br /><br />I also wrote a <a href="http://timesonline.typepad.com/schoolgate/2009/03/do-boys-need-bo.html">blog post on this topic for <a href="http://www.timesonline.co.uk/schoolgate">School Gate</a>. It's called </a>Do Boys need Boys' Schools?<br /><br /><em><strong>All work and no play is bad for boys</strong><br />Boys are falling behind at school, and many believe that the teaching methods used favour girls. What can be done?</em><br /><br />Elaine McDowall is worried about her six-year-old son, Harry. “He's always getting told off at school,” she says. “But I know he's not naughty. He's just being a boy. He's loud and boisterous, but loud doesn't always equal bad. His teacher just wants him to be quiet, to sit and concentrate for long periods of time. I think teachers want boys to be like girls, and it's turning my son off school.” <br /><br />Boys are having a hard time, whether they are 6 or 16. And the situation appears to be getting worse. Within the past few weeks it has been reported that 53 per cent of girls receive five A* to C grade GCSEs including English and Maths, compared with 44 per cent of male pupils. Fourteen girls' schools are in the top 20 listed on the basis of A-level results, while more girls take A levels than boys. Other research suggests that girls are more likely to go to university (the most recent statistics reveal a 7 per cent gap, which is expected to widen), and that 79 per cent of the children excluded from school are boys. <br /><br />What has caused this downward spiral of underachievement for boys from nursery to university? The blame, says Peg Tyre, the American author of a new book, The Trouble With Boys, and the former education reporter for Newsweek, lies squarely with the school system. <br /><br />An “unashamed feminist”, Tyre was brought up to worry about the achievement of girls. She was astonished to discover that it is now boys who are falling behind. “Evidence of this trend is everywhere,” she says. “People think there's something wrong with boys, but I'd say that's not necessarily true: it's what we expect of them instead. <br /><br />“When you talk to boys about school, they say it's girly, that it's lots of ladies talking,” says Tyre. She argues that boys are badly served from pre-school onwards. They are not allowed to run around and not taught by enough male teachers. There has also been an educational shift away from play towards learning and targets at an earlier age. <br /><br />She is convinced that reading and writing skills are the key to life and educational achievements, but says that boys are falling way behind in these skills. This is partly because they start to read later than girls, and never recover from that earlier deficit. But it is also, Tyre argues, because boys are given the wrong books to read. <br /><br />“If you don't read well, you don't succeed in school,” she says. “Teachers need to be aware of the different kinds of books there are out there, and not assume that boys and girls want the same things.” <br /><br />This argument has been well rehearsed in the UK. Recent research revealed that almost 50 per cent of nine-year-old boys read only “if they had to”. “Boys need to be given a reason to read,” says Sophie Quarterman of Oxford University Press, which has just brought out a “reading tree” (a scheme to help teach children to read) aimed specially at boys. “They need to feel that they will get something out of it,” she says. <br /><br />Jonny Zucker, the author of the Max Flash series, which boasts a 90 per cent male readership, agrees. “Girls have a massive number of tried and tested writers,” he says. “There are not enough of these for boys.” <br /><br />But like Tyre, Zucker, a father of three young sons and a former primary school teacher, says that the problem is not just with reading. It is with schools. “Up to a certain age, school is completely wrong for boys,” he says. “Because of the demands of the national curriculum, far too long is spent sitting down, whereas boys need to move around - something that isn't physically possible in classrooms. <br /><br />“It's also important to get on the boys' level. If you haven't got sons or don't know boys very well, boys can be an irritant in the classroom. They make poo jokes; they try to make their friends laugh; they get more tired and are more difficult to teach. You need to allow them to let off steam.” <br /><br />As Tyre says, not catering to boys' needs could have huge ramifications: “In some ways it's nice to see women on top. But we have to ask who is going to bring up the children and who are these educated women going to marry? In America there are 2.5 million more girls than boys in college, and women tend to marry men of the same level of educational attainment.” Experts appear united that something needs to be done, but recent changes have not helped boys. Children are now taught “to the test” to keep up with the national curriculum. This often means less time for PE or creative subjects, as well as cuts in playtime. More coursework instead of multiple-choice questions has also affected boys. <br /><br />And despite a push to attract more men to the profession, figures from the Training and Development Agency for Schools found that half of all children between 5 and 11 have no contact with male teachers - a problem in inner cities where single-parent families are more common. <br /><br />Dr Tony Sewell is chief executive of the London-based charity Generating Genius, and is trying to re-engage boys with learning. The charity was set up to help boys from underprivileged backgrounds to learn about science, and Sewell feels that it is desperately needed. <br /><br />“In the 1970s and 1980s, people in education wanted to help girls to change, to get rid of the overt sexism around. That has paid off, and girls feel that the world is their oyster,” he says. <br /><br />“But we've seen a parallel downturn with boys. The curriculum doesn't really meet their needs. If we look at science, it's now being taught in such a theoretical way that boys are being turned off. They need it to be much more practical, more hands-on.” <br /><br />“Girls are more focused,” says Zaibien Hunter, 15, who has attended summer schools at Generating Genius. “But boys are catching up at our school because there are more male teachers and role models to encourage them. <br /><br />“I know that people have a stereotype about people like me,” he adds. “They expect me to be disruptive and not to pay attention. They're shocked that I am a young black boy who is intelligent and can achieve.” <br /><br />For Angela Phillips, who created a storm with her 1993 book The Trouble With Boys: A Wise and Sympathetic Guide to the Risky Business of Raising Sons, this is nothing new. But she's glad that educators and parents are finally starting to notice, and says that one solution would be for children to start school at the age of 5 or 6 as they do in other countries. “Boys mature later than girls,” she says. “Girls will shoot ahead if children start at 4. If boys fall behind at a young age, it will be very difficult for them to catch up.” Others believe that the answer lies in single-sex education, despite the so-called “social disadvantages”. <br /><br />For Elaine McDowall and her son, the answer is simple. “People need to change their expectations of boys,” she says. “They need to stop assuming that boys will produce beautiful pieces of work or be interested in the same things as girls. All children have got abilities. Why should boys lose out?”family travel timeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16253129730240938777noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7846615355751199217.post-7844901846624954342009-01-19T13:50:00.000-08:002009-01-19T13:53:19.277-08:00What is the perfect age gap between children?Hello<br /><br />I have a piece in the Times, Body and Soul section, on that thorny topic, age-gaps. You can read it <a href="http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/families/article5525024.ece">here</a>.<br /><br />For some reason, the piece online, unlike the published newspaper piece, doesn't include the case study. <br /><br />Here is my original:<br /><br />By Sarah Ebner<br /><br />What is the optimum age gap between children? Will a short gap incite furious sibling rivalry, or a long gap risk your children never becoming friends? It’s one of the more frustrating parental conundrums – and one where people are apparently happy to offer opinions, but not absolutes.<br />“We know the general effect of age gaps, but family dynamics change, so there are no guarantees,” says Dr Richard Woolfson, child psychologist and author of Understanding Children. “However, sibling rivalry tends to be at its strongest when the age gap is around two years. It’s less intense at 18 months or younger because they don’t have a fully developed sense of identity, while after three years, it’s also lessened because the older child will have more of a sense of independence, and feel more secure in their own life.”<br />Sibling rivalry is certainly one of the first things parents consider when they’re deciding whether to have a second or third baby. But there are also many other issues. Careers, finances and even accommodation all have their parts to play, and so, of course, does simple biology. Many women may hope for a particular age gap between their children, but find that they can’t make that happen. Others become pregnant more easily than they expected.<br />“I thought it would be nice to have the children growing up together, but never thought I would get pregnant so quickly a second time,” says Janine Neye, who has a 13 month gap between Jake, 13, and Maddi, 12. “It was tough physically, but in some ways that small gap was easier – it got the nappies out of the way all at once. At the same time, it was a bit like having twins but scarier. I remember Jake running in one direction and Maddi lying in his way dangerously in the other.”<br />But are there any clues to what is the “right” gap? According to the Office of National Statistics, the median interval between births (for married women in England and Wales) is 35 months, a sensible interval if you’re trying to minimise sibling rivalry. This almost three-year gap could also be wise when it comes to maternal health - research by the Catalyst Consortium, which covers family planning and reproduction, suggests that it is near to optimum for health reasons. Much of their data was based on the developing world, which has much higher rates of infant and maternal mortality, but experts here agree that it makes sense to let the body recover from one gruelling pregnancy and childbirth before moving onto another one.<br />A further study from the Centre of Population Studies at the School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine in London, supports this. It discovered that women who wait less than 18 months between having children are more likely to die young than those who have a bigger gap. By the age of 50, the death rate for those women in their study was 20 percent higher than those with a larger sibling gap.<br />Shelley Lief and her husband Kevin have a seemingly perfect gap between their two sons, Alex, who’s nearly 6 and Jacob, who’s coming up to 3. Another baby is due in February.<br />“We didn’t think we could cope!” says Lief, 37, as she explains why they went for that interval between the boys. “We didn’t sit down and plan a three year gap, and there was definite peer pressure to go for two or two and a half years, but I didn’t want a toddler and a baby. I wanted an older child who was a bit more independent, but not so much older that he wouldn’t be friends with his new sibling. I knew I didn’t want a tiny gap; that’s very hard on the parents.<br />“The two boys are very close and play together all the time,” she adds. “I don’t know if it’s an optimum gap, but it works for us.”<br />Professor Judy Dunn, a developmental psychologist and expert in child development, agrees that this three year interval may be a good one.<br />“It’s true that there are big differences in how a first born reacts to the arrival and upheaval of a new baby, depending on how old they are,” she says. “A two year old will show upset in a very different way to a five year old, and if a child can talk, lots of things are different. You can amuse and distract a verbally precocious three year old when you’re with a young baby. That’s harder with an 18 month old.<br />“By three, most first-born children are amenable to parental pressure not to beat up the baby. But how well siblings get along with each other is very dependent on the older child’s temperament.”<br />Lief also believes that gender made a positive difference.<br />“I knew nothing about boys before,” she says. “But they have got so much in common, from superheroes to play fighting. I’m sure it makes them closer.”<br />Gender may well play a part, but it’s debatable whether this is good or bad. Many women who get along just perfectly with their little sisters as babies (all that sharing of pink tutus) find that this sharing turns into competitiveness as they grow up and are compared more easily than siblings of opposite sexes. The same goes for those Spider-Man playing brothers.<br />“Everyone’s experience is different” says Dr Woolfson. “The kids may get along fine when they are 4 and 2 or 8 and 6, but the gap can seem vast when they reach 13 and 11, whatever their gender. Social interests may not start to level out until they are much older.”<br />“If you’re interested in a child’s wellbeing, then they can do very well with a five or six year gap, or a year between them,” adds Professor Dunn. “If you’re worried about the quality of the relationship between your children, you’re right, it will be very different depending on whether the gap is small or big, but there’s no simple equation.”<br />Janine Neye agrees with that. She claims that her children’s age gaps are far from optimum, but that it works in practice.<br />“We’ve got the worst case scenario,” says Neye, 43. “We’ve got too small a gap at one end – just 13 months – and too big a gap at the other!”<br />Neye was horrified when she first found out that she was pregnant for the third time. Her two children, Jake and Maddi were 9 and 8, and she thought her new baby days were over. <br />“It nearly finished us off,” says Neye, who’s now 43. “The older two were devastated because it signified such a change in our lives, and obviously we weren’t expecting it. It’s definitely affected the family dynamic.”<br />But while Neye is a real life example of a small and large age gap, she can see the benefits of both. This was also true of her own upbringing - she gets on especially well with her youngest sister (a 12 year age gap).<br />“It has been nice having a large gap and it’s lovely having a small one around - Spike’s a great asset. But it has changed our lives on a complicated level. When we went on holiday to Cornwall, the older two surfed with their dad and I had to stay with Spike. These days I don’t get to do as many things with the older two, and we aren’t quite as complete.”<br />For some people, a small age gap makes perfect sense: like Janine Neye (with numbers one and two!) they want two children who will grow up together, have much in common and be close. For others, it makes no sense at all. Why, they wonder, would you want to go back to sleepless nights and breastfeeding just when you’ve finished them? Doesn’t it make sense to spend time with the first child, and not share him or her with a tiny, screaming number two? Even Neye feels her first son missed out on her attention. “He was tiny when I got pregnant again,” she says.<br />There’s also the question of intellectual development, as it’s suggested that this is helped by a larger gap. Language development in particular improves when a child spends more time with adults rather than similarly aged siblings. However, once again, there are many other factors at play when it comes to intelligence.<br />“Every age gap brings strengths and weaknesses,” says Dr Woolfson. “I would strongly discourage any parents from choosing an age gap on the basis of reducing tension between children or how intelligent they want their child to be.”<br />And whatever the age gap, parents need to prepare children carefully for any new arrivals, or face dire consequences. How siblings get on may owe more to personality than age, but parents can make a real difference.<br />“If it’s not resolved in childhood, then the impact of age gaps will continue into adulthood,” warns Dr Woolfson. “Parents need to be aware of this and make every effort to work at it with the children, encourage them to get on and make each of them feel special.”<br />Endsfamily travel timeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16253129730240938777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7846615355751199217.post-5062093719116433002008-11-25T10:11:00.001-08:002008-11-25T10:15:21.347-08:00Would like to meet......I have an article about new ways to meet people in this week's Body and Soul in Saturday's Times. You can read it <a href="http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/relationships/article5205009.ece">there</a> (where there is a great picture!)<br /><br />Or you can read it below....<br /><br />From The Times<br />November 22, 2008<br /><br /><strong>Singletons find love at singing and dance classes</strong><br />Forget speed-dating, performing arts classes are increasingly playing Cupid to those looking for love<br /><br />Sarah Ebner <br /><br />Adam Mattison-Ward is no Gene Kelly, but acting, dancing and singing have changed his life. He met his girlfriend, Anne, in a singing class, and is convinced that shared interests and the buzz he gets from performing led to his “amazing” new relationship. <br /><br />“I wanted to do something completely different,” says Mattison-Ward, a television producer. “I'd been with someone for 11 years, but that had come to an end, and I was interested in meeting someone new. The only thing was, I wasn't sure about the best way forward.” <br /><br />The 34-year-old wanted to meet someone “like him”, with similar interests and values. And like an increasing number of today's singles, he rejected internet dating in favour of joining a performing arts evening class to de-stress and learn new skills, as well as to meet someone new. “I'd always been interested in drama and singing, and when a friend told me about the City Academy performing arts school, I signed up. I got such a kick out of it. It gave me a new identity and inspired me. And it quickly introduced me to new people. <br /><br /><em>Everyone's in the same boat</em> <br /><br />“When you meet somebody in this way, there's far less pressure. Everyone's in the same boat, so you're all supportive of each other, and of course, you lose your inhibitions. You know everyone's seen you make a fool of yourself singing and dancing, so you can't be embarrassed. You also know you have some interests in common - otherwise you wouldn't be there.” <br /><br />Mattison-Ward started at the academy, based in North London, in December 2007. In March, Anne joined his singing class. He was smitten. <br /><br />“To meet someone and hit it off with them instantly is amazing,” says Adam. “We have such fun and enjoy the same things. It's like a cliché - to find love when you're not seriously looking.” <br /><br />There are more singles than ever in the UK (6,622,000 aged between 25 and 44 in England and Wales in 2006, compared with 4,657,000 in 1996 and 2,532,000 in 1986 - and these figures don't include the divorced or widowed). Around 8 million people use some form of online dating service, evidence suggests that it often doesn't end with a lasting relationship. A survey by YouGov found that only a quarter of people who used internet dating sites were confident that they would find the person they were looking for, and many lapsed members insist that the pool of potential partners is simply too broad. <br /><br />“We mustn't raise the internet's status too much,” says Dr Lisa Matthewman, a chartered psychologist at the University of Westminster and an expert in romantic and sexual relationships. “There's such potential to portray yourself - and of course for others to portray themselves - falsely. It can feel artificial and impersonal. Classes, particularly classes in the performing arts, can be more fruitful as inhibitions are cast aside and friendships quickly formed. You build up an emotional connection as well as a physical one. People are looking for all sorts of values in their partner, and it's hard to see how you can get those from the superficialities asked for by internet matching sites.” <br /><br />Bridget Ragazzini, 39, a publishing executive, initially turned to the internet when she split from her fiancé three years ago. “I started with such high expectations - it seemed a lot less daunting than speed dating, which I tried and hated - it's all about first impressions. However, I quickly discovered that while prospective dates sounded wonderful in their profiles, in real life' we would struggle to find things in common and there would be no chemistry at all.” <br /><br />Ragazzini persevered for a year before logging off for good. “The whole experience was actually a bit depressing, and shook my confidence in the dating process. Instead, I resolved to focus on myself for a while. I'd enjoyed acting at university, and signed up with my local drama group. I attended an open audition one Saturday, which was pretty scary, but I quickly found myself opening up. The nicest thing about it was that there were so many people like me there - thirty and forty-somethings who were interested in the theatre and up for a laugh. By the end of the day, we'd acted together, eaten together, laughed together and were really bonded. I left with five new numbers in my phone and found the whole experience really liberating; I felt more confident and open to new experiences as a result. The theatre group has definitely expanded my social circle, which can only be a good thing in the search for a partner.” <br /><br />Andrew G. Marshall, a relationship expert and author of the forthcoming book The Single Trap: How to Escape it and Find Lasting Love, sees clear problems with what he calls “conventional dating” and is fully in favour of expanding social circles and interests to meet new people. “The problem with internet dating and speed dating in particular is that we judge people so quickly when they walk through a door,” he says. <br /><br />“We think they're too fat, too thin or too Primark for us. But the problem is that we're actually making a judgment on the most superficial of levels. What counts is whether we have a proper emotional connection with them, whether they complete us and provide balance. If you join a choir or a dance group, you talk to the other people there as human beings and you have room to talk to each other and to find out if there is a proper emotional connection rather than just lust.” <br /><br />Marshall also has another explanation for why meeting in this way is beneficial. It's all to do with the difference between what he terms “bridging” and “bonding” capital. <br /><br />“Bonding is like the friends in Sex and the City; people who are like you,” he explains. “It's very good for getting by and for emotional support, but it's a defined unit. You're not going to meet new people through this circle. Bridging, however, is quite different. It crosses existing groups of people, and is a great way to meet new people.” <br /><br />Anne Birgit Saeves - Mattison-Ward's girlfriend - can echo that. The 28-year-old is a television production manager and joined classes at the academy to meet new people. “Taking a class is not like a pub or a club, it's a nice, safe atmosphere, where you meet people you already have things in common with. I wasn't really prepared to meet the love of my life, but when I met Adam, I did.” <br /><br /><em>“We thought it would help people destress”</em><br /><br />Mike Ward, the co-founder of the academy, is amused, but not surprised that his evening classes in the performing arts now have a sideline in romance. “When we started the classes in 2007, the idea was that it would suit people in the City, those who wanted to de-stress after work, and also to express themselves. But while we're finding that people love the courses, it's also become clear that they don't just come to have fun, they also want to meet someone. It's a great place to develop relationships.” <br /><br />Performance classes aren't the only option for those sick of internet or speed dating. Romance thrives more in an atmosphere conducive to relaxation and breaking down barriers, than the intense pressure of a “date”, as organisations like the adventure and social group Spice UK have found. Dave Smith, its founder, says he never pitches his “multi-activity adventure, sports and social group”, as a singles' club. The purpose “is to have fun, not just to meet people. Relationships blossom though, because this is a far more natural way to meet someone than singles nights or speed dating”. Spice UK members, he claims, now boast a wedding a week. <br /><br />“We are all about coming together and having fun at the events,” he says. “But that can lead on to other things. I used to give people a spice rack when they said they were getting married. Then I started to buy in bulk. Now I've stopped, because it cost too much.” <br /><br />You may not get a spice rack any more, but if you try something new, you will be adding more flavour to your life. And if you want to meet someone for a lasting relationship, you probably need to move away from your computer. <br /><br />For more information about the City Academy, call 020-7704 3717 or visit www.city-academy.com <br /><em><br />Don't fancy singing? Try these...</em><br /><br />Charity fundraising <br /><br />Having values and interests in common is always good ground for romance - especially, it appears, when it comes to the desire to help others. <br /><br />The disability charity Scope has been running fundraising treks and challenges to far-flung locations, including China, Peru and Vietnam, for more than 12 years. Recently organisers have noticed that a number of participants have met their partner while taking part. “Kilimanjaro 08 with Scope was advertised as a life-changing experience and for us it has been,” says Graham Isaacs, 32, who met his partner Julie Evans, 31, on a Scope trek in July. “I think the environment of challenge and achievement with new people really brings personalities to the fore so it's a great way to meet like-minded people.” <br /><br />Those taking part usually include a good mixture of men and women so the chances of meeting a partner or simply making new friends are pretty high. The average age is early thirties but there are twenty, forty and fifty-somethings too. For more information: email events@scope.org.uk or visit www.scope.org.uk<br /><br />A new body and a new partner?<br /><br />Research by Mintel has revealed that one in five private health club members met close friends or their partner at the gym. More than one in four saw it as a good place to meet “like-minded people”, and an increasing number of gyms are now organising social activities for their members. <br /><br />Victoria Branch, marketing manager of Harpers Fitness, says that people tend to use their trips to the gym in two ways - to flirt, but also work out, or to switch off and work out. She says that the gym definitely appeals as a place to meet. <br /><br />“There's less pressure,” she says. “If you're single and on a night out there is always that thought - will I meet someone? Whereas when you're in the gym you are relaxed and not usually expecting to meet someone in that way. Also, if you meet someone at the same gym you probably know that you are quite similar in terms of lifestyle.” www.harpersfitness.co.uk <br /><br />Spirit of adventure<br /><br />Dave Smith set up Spice UK because he wanted to join a club just like it, and couldn't find one. It began in Manchester, by offering outdoor pursuits each month, but now runs a variety of activities and get-togethers all over the country. Children are not invited. Membership is £12 a month, and there are currently 12,000 members. “It's about making friends and enjoying yourself,” says Smith. “It's best described as an adults' youth club.” www.spiceuk.comfamily travel timeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16253129730240938777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7846615355751199217.post-9538523196004075042008-11-25T10:07:00.000-08:002008-11-25T10:10:41.894-08:00The Gay Uncle's Guide to ParentingBrett Berk is the author of a great new parenting book called The Gay Uncle's Guide to Parenting. You can read my interview with him in <a href="http://www.thejc.com/node/8400">The Jewish Chronicle </a>this week<br /><br />Or you could read it here:<br /> By Sarah Ebner<br /><br />When Brett Berk invited his friends and their young son for dinner, he didn’t expect a potty to be placed next to the table. <br />“We should be celebrating,” said the boy’s proud mother, after her son had demonstrated his toilet training prowess.<br /> “We should be fumigating,” Berk replied, quite put off his food.<br />This was the trigger for Berk to take action. Having seen too many friends fall prey to what he calls the “parenting bubble” (where they can no longer see sense, and life revolves around the children) he decided something must be done. The resulting book, The Gay Uncle’s Guide to Parenting, has become a phenomenon in the States. Berk has become a modern parenting “guru”, and there are now plans to turn his book into a reality TV series.<br />“These days there’s so much emphasis on people being perfect parents and raising perfect children,” says Berk from his apartment in New York. “I wanted to offer parents a new perspective on how to deal with kids and deliver sound, actionable advice. I also wanted to let people laugh at themselves and to realise that they are the grown-ups.”<br />Berk, who’s 39, seems to have delivered what he intended. The book is 230 pages of candid advice, wrapped up with some delicious anecdotes - the parents who worry that their pre-schooler is choosing the “wrong” child to be friends with, the new mother convinced that her baby’s nappies don’t smell and the granny who pinches her 3-year-old granddaughter and claims that the pre-schooler “started it”. As an “outsider”, Berk considers himself eminently well qualified to try to bring parents back to reality. He’s emphatic that the book is for those who want to be “people as well as parents,” and wants them to step back from trying to control every aspect of their children’s lives, <br />“Investing all your time and energy in your child is a lot of pressure to place on a kid,” he says, “but there are things you can do to really focus on the big picture, rather than whether you’re feeding them the right organic grape or not.”<br />Berk is scathing about people who pander to their children’s every whim. He clearly feels that parents are out of control, spoiling themselves and their children with all sorts of things they don’t need. <br />“The baby business seems to play on your fears that you’re ill equipped for the job and going to do it all wrong,” he writes. This is where his checklist for “Baby Product Substitutes” comes in. Instead of a digital bath thermometer, Berk suggests using a finger or wrist. Instead of an “infant in-crib sleep positioner,” he suggests a mattress or rolled up towel, and instead of a baby wipes warmer (for those ever so sensitive babies who just can’t handle a wipe at room temperature) he suggests…a lobotomy.<br />Despite having no children himself, he doesn’t see that as a problem. He’s worked with children for such a long time (he has a Masters in education, taught in schools and also ran a day-care centre) that he feels he knows an awful lot about them. He’s also convinced that it’s about time gay men, who are already feted as gurus on clothing, style and grooming, moved into another arena.<br />“Some people said maybe we should take the “gay” part out of the title,” he says, “but in some ways, that’s part of the shtick of the book, you know what I mean? Gay men have taken on this role as lifestyle gurus and this is the next logical thing for us to address, telling people how to raise their kids.”<br />The appealing thing about The Gay Uncle’s Guide is not just that it’s funny, with a wry sense of Jewish humour (Berk says that, although the book isn’t “overtly” Jewish, he guesses that “everything I do is somehow informed by my Jewishness), but that the advice is actually useful. Much of it is common sense – that the adult should be in charge, or that children benefit from routines – but it’s amusingly presented.<br />“Don’t worry about whether your child or children can cope if you’re thinking of adding another child to the family,” he says. “Think about whether you can cope. Your children are going to resent you for the rest of their lives anyway, regardless of how many or few of them you have. Providing a sibling will at least give them someone to corroborate the reasons for their resentment.”<br />Berk has been with his partner, a screenwriter called Tal, for 18 years, but is adamant he doesn’t want children of his own.<br />“I’m not opposed to gay parenting in any way, shape or form. It’s just not for me,” he says. “I do more good as an uncle and an educator than I would do as a parent. I think we all muck it up as parents. It’s impossible not to.”<br /><br />The Gay Uncle’s Guide to Parenting: Candid Counsel from the Depths of the Day-care Trenches, by Brett Berk, is published by Three Rivers Press.<br />Brett Berk’s blog is at <a href="http://brettberk.com/">http://brettberk.com/</a>family travel timeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16253129730240938777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7846615355751199217.post-48737588226620898462008-07-08T09:37:00.000-07:002008-07-08T09:39:24.906-07:00Want to know about education? Read School GateHaving spent the last year editing Supernanny.co.uk, I now have a new job, editing <a href="http://timesonline.typepad.com/schoolgate/">School Gate</a>, a new blog for Times Online.<br />Please check out my blog and make comments and suggestions.<br />Thanks!family travel timeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16253129730240938777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7846615355751199217.post-12866905784750225072008-06-23T13:56:00.000-07:002008-06-23T14:01:56.515-07:00Placebo pills for kids.....Today I have a piece in the Times about placebo pill for kids. You can read it here:<br />http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/article4182294.ece<br /><br />My original piece was rather different - firstly, because it was longer, but also because Dr Ian Paul and the GP mentioned were both people I interviewed at a later date.<br /><br />So if you want to read my original piece, here it is:<br /><br />By Sarah Ebner<br /><br />Your child is crying, unhappy, and says he is ill. You know he isn’t hurt or so unwell he needs medicine, but long for something to help calm him down. Now the makers of Obecalp think they have the solution. Their product, the first standardised, especially made placebo “pill”, has just gone on sale via its American website. But their new product raises a huge number of questions.<br />The website for Obecalp (placebo spelt backwards) quotes “mommy” Jennifer Buettner, who came up with the idea. “It does nothing,” she writes. “Just like it’s supposed to. The brain does it all (with a kiss on the cheek.)” <br />It sounds like a brilliant idea, a harmless substance to comfort someone not really in need of medication. But if someone doesn’t really require medicine, should we be giving them a substitute at all? Many medical experts (and parents) think not.<br />“There’s definitely ethical issues about giving a medication that’s not got any active substance in it,” says Dr Margaret Bamforth from the Royal College of Psychiatrists. “You’d have to think very carefully about it.”<br />The placebo effect has long been documented. It is usually explained as something which occurs when a patient’s symptoms improve, despite being treated with a product that has no active medical ingredients. It’s thought this happens because patients believe the treatment will work (in other words, they don’t know it’s a placebo). Recent research also suggests that taking a placebo pill stimulates the release of endorphins (which release feelings of euphoria) in the brain. <br />Of course it would be very rare to find someone who would ask for a placebo rather than medication, and this is one of the ethical issues in which Obecalp is now tangled. By suggesting that parents give their child such a pill, aren’t they suggesting a deception?<br />Dennis Buettner, co-creator of Obecalp and Jennifer’s husband, thinks not. He’s hoping that Obecalp will help thousands of people, citing children, the elderly and those with special needs.<br />“This isn’t the deception of a child,” he says firmly. “We like to look at it as the protection of a child. To give them medicine of suspect efficacy is a deception. Children are over-medicated in this country. This is not medicine.”<br />The Buettners, who have, rather ironically, called their company “Efficacy Brands”, say they are genuinely amazed by the storm their product has created. <br />“That caught us both,” says Dennis Buettner. “This is a product that is designed to be absolutely nothing, inert. The controversy caught me completely off guard.”<br />It’s understandable that the Buettners were taken aback. At first glance, their product seems simple. It’s almost like giving a plaster to a child who doesn’t really need one, just to placate them. Except that a child knows that a plaster is just something to cover a scratch. The danger is that they’ll think this cherry flavoured tablet is medication. <br />“It’s full of contradictions,” exclaims Dr Bamforth, who’s an expert in child and adolescent psychiatry. “It’s saying go to your doctor, but when you find there’s nothing wrong with your child, give them a pill anyway. That doesn’t make any sense, does it?<br />“You’re also teaching children to rely on a pill. You’re not helping them deal with whatever the problem is, to develop a functional coping strategy.”<br />When the Buettners initially had the idea for Obecalp, it seemed straightforward.<br />“My wife and I had our young niece to stay because her parents were on vacation,” says Dennis. “We anticipated that she would be anxious and when she said she had a bad tummy. Jen said that I should go to Wal-Mart and buy a placebo. But they had nothing. That’s when I began to research and found that nowhere in the world had retail placebos.”<br />The Buettners thought they were on to something big and decided to make a placebo pill themselves. They contacted every drug manufacturer in the country, spoke to numerous scientists (one of whom gave them the idea for making the pill out of dextrose) and eventually came to an agreement with one particular company (with whom they have a non-disclosure agreement.)<br />“One guy told us that he’d spent his entire career developing products that were designed to do all types of things, but really did nothing. He couldn’t believe that he met us, and we were asking him to specifically design a product that does nothing.”<br />The sample products (given a cherry taste, because, Buettner says, it’s the most popular over-the-counter flavour), were tested positively on friends and family. Rather surprisingly, Buettner admits that none were tried as a placebo on someone who had a malady, but simply handed out to taste. The couple were obviously happy with the results as the first batch of tablets (5-7000 bottles) went on sale to the public at the beginning of June. The first orders are just being dispatched.<br />Buettner is passionate about the idea that too many people are given medication when they don’t need it, and argues that Obecalp addresses that issue. That children (and adults) are given too many pills is something others agree with. What they can’t understand is why a product which looks like a pill (even if it isn’t one) is seen as the solution.<br />“It’s a nonsense,” says Imti Choonara, a professor in medical health at Nottingham University and expert in paediatric clinical pharmacology. “I have no problems with placebos in general, but I’m concerned that this will make children think they always need a medicine to make themselves better. <br />“I don’t see the logic in having something available that you can buy over the counter as a placebo. It’s a contradiction in terms. You’re not going to buy it for yourself, and it’s inappropriate to give it your partner or other family member because you know it doesn’t work.”<br />Buettner is exceptionally keen to stress that Obecalp is not medicine, that he doesn’t have medical training, and that he recommends speaking to a doctor before using the product. He won’t even say what he thinks Obecalp might be able to treat, just that it is sold as an over-the-counter dietary supplement.<br />“We make absolutely no claims which might be construed or misunderstood to be medical advice, so I am unable to give particulars as to its use,” he says when pressed. <br />However, he is less reticent when talking about the placebo effect in general. He cites a number of medical studies, explaining that recent ones which appear to show that both cough medicines and Prozac work little better than placebos, inspired him to speed up production. <br />One study he enthusiastically points towards is from the University of Chicago. Earlier this year researchers there found that nearly half the doctors they questioned admitted to giving out a placebo to patients at some point. <br />“We’re hoping that there’s a potential that if you see your physician and he thinks there’s nothing wrong, we’re providing him with the knowledge that there’s a standardised placebo of high grade quality that exists for use,” says Buettner.<br />It’s ironic then that Professor John Hickner, who worked on the Chicago study, is not a fan of Obecalp.<br />“I think it is a terrible idea for parents to give placebos to their kids,” he says. “We are already a society that believes pills are the easy answer to too many problems.”<br />But Buettner is sticking to his guns. He says that sales are already going well and is keen to move forward. He has plans for a diabetic version of the pill, and a distribution deal to take it into Europe. Could the next big American export really be something that is simply mind over matter?<br /><br />Endsfamily travel timeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16253129730240938777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7846615355751199217.post-50257206764971785022008-04-19T08:33:00.001-07:002008-04-19T08:35:32.998-07:00The lowdown on parenting websitesHello<br /><br />Today I have an article in the Telegraph Weekend Section about parenting websites. You can read it on their site: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/main.jhtml?xml=/education/2008/04/19/famums19.xml<br /><br />Or by continuing to read here:<br /><br /><strong>Internet mums: help's within site </strong><br />Last Updated: 12:01am BST 19/04/2008<br /><br /><em>The internet is proving invaluable for isolated mothers, discovers Sarah Ebner</em><br /><br />Ellen Kirkby was nervous. The birth of her first son, Matthew, had not been easy and as the due date for her second child loomed, she realised she didn't want to be alone.<br /><br />Fortunately fate - in the form of parenting website, Mumsnet - intervened.<br /><br />"I posted a thread saying I was worried. DaisyMOO came on and said she would like to be there for me," says Kirkby. "It was a week before my due date and I knew nothing about her. But we chatted and I thought: 'Go for it.'?"<br /><br />DaisyMOO (who's also known as Caroline Newey) was indeed there at the birth, and Kirkby says her presence made all the difference. (Her second labour was far better than her first.)<br /><br />"She gave me the confidence to have the birth I wanted, to turn down drugs I didn't want and to help get Joe to breastfeed. She even went to get my ex-partner so he could see the baby, while making it as stress-free as possible for me."<br /><br />To those not familiar with the astonishing growth of parenting websites, Kirkby's story may sound unusual. But to the hundreds of thousands of devotees, these sites fulfil a very real need, and one which politicians have heeded. David Cameron recently made his second appearance on Mumsnet, while the Department for Children, Schools and Families has just awarded a £500,000 grant to Netmums.<br /><br />In a world where the extended family has often disappeared, parenting websites provide support and friendship 24 hours a day, seven days a week. They offer advice from other parents who have "been there", an emotional outlet and the opportunity to chat about anything from global warming to what to cook for supper.<br /><br />Mumsnet stands out because, with 75 per cent of its users having a degree, much of the talk is caustic, argumentative and some might say intimidating. "They are honest," says Kirkby. "Maybe people in real life aren't brave enough to tell you to snap out of it. They will on Mumsnet."<br /><br />"We have 20,000 posts a day so it's any question you may want to ask," adds the founder of the site, Justine Roberts. "It's not just sleeping and breastfeeding."<br /><br />Parenting gurus have been around for decades. Dr Spock, Penelope Leach and more recently Gina Ford have told parents how to bring up their children, but these days many parents want more than the one point of view they get from a single expert.<br /><br />"I've read so many books, but they seem almost dictatorial," says Suzi Shaw, who credits Mumszone for helping her through the loneliness she felt when her husband was diagnosed with depression.<br /><br />"It was really hard being on my own, but knowing other people were going through the same thing really helped me," says Shaw, who adds that she loves getting "15 different points of view, instantly".<br /><br />Linking people up, wherever they are, is definitely one of the websites' main attractions. The cloak of anonymity probably helps too - there are some questions parents don't want to ask face to face.<br /><br />"I can be the person I want to be, not necessarily the person other people think I am," says Shaw, who adds that she constantly asks, and offers, advice to her friends online.<br /><br />Chrissi Hudson, a Netmums aficionado, does likewise. "I don't want to be labelled a bad mum by someone in a white coat," she says. "I meet people in the same boat as me and we support each other. If I had a problem I would go on Netmums first."<br /><br />It's that instinct, of going to a website rather than a professional, which prompted the huge grant awarded to Netmums. It's intended to help more than 50,000 parents in 18 months and Siobhan Freegard, founder of the site, hopes to employ some expert advisers.<br /><br />"When we set up the site, we weren't expecting to get the number of serious cases that we did, from postnatal depression to domestic abuse," she says. "We have mums at their wits' end, some suicidal, but we don't have any specialists, just one counsellor behind the scenes. We told the Government that we had the mums and the problems, so the money should come to us. We're filling a gap in the system."<br /><br />Freegard initially set up the site on a local level, with information for mothers in Harrow, where she lives. Soon emails came in from elsewhere asking for similar sites. There are now 152, which are all tightly moderated to provide what Freegard describes as a "safe and friendly environment".<br /><br />But parenting sites aren't all about anonymity and computer screens. Many of those online have now met up with their friends offline and found a real connection. Perhaps one reason for this is that unlike mother and baby groups, websites allow you to meet other parents without children being present. You don't need to talk over, or even pretend to like, someone else's wailing toddler. Instead, you have the time to discover shared interests.<br /><br />"It's like lonely hearts in effect," says Chrissi Hudson. "I've made so many friends." <br /><br /><br />www.mumsnet.com: witty, acerbic, with a huge range of topics. Just signed six-figure deal for a series of "modern, funny" parenting books.<br /><br />www.netmums.com: vast membership, lots of support and advice. Also has publishing deal.<br /><br />www.badmothersclub.co.uk: set up by Stephanie Calman to reassure mums muddling through.<br /><br />www.supernanny.co.uk: advice based site based on the TV show<br /><br />www.gurgle.com: newest site, backed by Mothercare and the Early Learning Centre.<br /><br />www.mumszone.co.uk: supportive forum, section on mums who work from home.family travel timeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16253129730240938777noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7846615355751199217.post-72299434098302141722008-03-06T11:51:00.000-08:002008-03-06T11:54:42.697-08:00Shortlisted at the Press AwardsHello<br /><br />I have some news - I have been shortlisted for feature writer of the year at this year's British Press Awards. I am, as you can imagine, delighted, especially as freelancing is never easy. It's the fourth time I've been shortlisted for one of these awards (and, I don't think I'm being particularly humble if I add that it's very likely to be the fourth time I don't win!) Still, I am very pleased.<br /><br />You can see the list of nominees here:<br /><br />http://www.britishpressawards.com/2008/shortlist.htmfamily travel timeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16253129730240938777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7846615355751199217.post-32765715210729362412008-02-25T11:20:00.000-08:002008-02-25T11:26:52.916-08:00Empty nest syndrome - and he's only two!I have an article in the Daily Telegraph about early empty nest syndrome. You can read it here.....http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/main.jhtml?xml=/education/2008/02/23/fanest123.xml<br /><br />Or here:<br /><br /><strong>Empty nest: mothership lost in space</strong><br /><br /><em>Sarah Ebner knew empty nest syndrome would strike one day - but wasn't expecting it when her youngest was just two</em><br /><br />I feel bereft. My son has left me. My cheerful, gorgeous, golden boy has moved on, with barely a thought for how I will cope. He talks now of other women and has become so secretive that I have no idea what he's up to ("I don't know," he repeats firmly). He's only two and a half, but it'll never be the same again.<br /><br />If I'm honest, I can't believe it. I had no fears about my son starting nursery. I thought that as long as he was happy, I would be. But I was wrong. As Robbie skipped away merrily, I felt ridiculously emotional. While the staff were thrilled that he was so happy and un-clingy, I felt an almost irresistible urge to rush into the nursery, grab him and bring him back home with me.<br /><br />He's only at pre-school for three hours a day, so could I really be suffering from empty nest syndrome?<br /><br />"Yes," says Jacqui Marson, a chartered counselling psychologist who specialises in motherhood. "It's a definite loss and reacting to it is completely normal." <br /><br />I have to admit that I'm feeling pretty silly. When my elder daughter began at the same nursery, I waved her off with none of the same emotions. But perhaps that was because I still had a baby at home with me. Now that he has bounced off into the (beginning of the) adult world, I am strangely lost. The time, which is only relevant on the two days I don't work, seems so vast that I worry about how best to fill it. How did he grow up so quickly? It's as if he doesn't need me any more.<br /><br />That's a feeling Jeannie Ford can certainly relate to. Her younger son, Oliver, joined reception class last September but still doesn't spend every day at school.<br /><br />"There's a very long settling-in and assessment process and we're now at the stage where Ollie does four days until 3.20," she says. "His teacher has said that he can now do that on the other day as well, but I don't want him to. He's my baby and I can't face losing him for that fifth day too. Then it'll be forever." <br /><br />Empty nest syndrome was so termed to explain the loss and sadness that many parents experience when their children no longer live with them or need day-to-day care. It's very common, usually when children leave home for university. But it can strike, as I now know, at any age. Parent coach Sue Atkins says that a recent client was worried about her 25-year-old son, who was getting married. She felt she was losing him to his wife.<br /><br />"Parenting is a constant letting-go," says Atkins. "From the moment you play peek-a-boo with your child, you've started them off being independent and letting them know that you won't always be there. Feeling sad is common at any stage. There's no right and wrong about it." I know I should be thrilled that my son's so settled and secure but a hint of clinginess from him would, secretly, be nice. Maybe that's selfish. But losing your baby to the growing up process is always hard.<br /><br />Alison Dishington would agree with that. Her youngest child, Grace, began school last year.<br /><br />"I was very emotional and cried when I got home. I actually felt a little sick," she says. "I was sad when each of my four children started but it got stronger with each one. With Grace, it was the end of an era and the house seemed so empty and quiet. I still find it terribly quiet and always have the radio on." <br /><br />But Alison says that the feelings of sadness didn't last. "I felt very morbid at the loss for a short while, but then I felt some relief too. After all, I now had time to empty those cupboards I'd been meaning to do for months and space to do some things for me, too. I began swimming again and took up yoga, which I love. So I have to say there is a positive side and you can certainly fill the gap." <br /><br />Jacqui Marson agrees that the key is not to panic desperately about filling the time with more work, as I have done, but to take it slowly and decide what's best for you.<br /><br />"We all neglect ourselves when we have young children. So, with the realisation that you are beginning not to be the centre of your child's universe, you have to work out how to be the centre of your own universe again. It might be that you turn back to your career but it might also be that you decide to take up pottery." Sue Atkins suggests that the key is to try to relax and to celebrate the start of nursery, school or university as a step forward for your child and for you.<br /><br />"Focus on the plus points," she says. "Be delighted that your child is happy, having fun and learning new things. You can't live your life through your children and when your last one goes, they do leave a gap. You have to decide how to fill it." My new life has begun. What do I do now? <br /><br />Endsfamily travel timeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16253129730240938777noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7846615355751199217.post-60149856201095159062007-09-15T03:30:00.000-07:002007-09-15T03:33:54.893-07:00The mother-in-law of all battles.....Today I have a piece in the Telegraph about the problems that some women have with their mothers-in-law. Many people will be able to empathise!<br />Here is the link: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/main.jhtml?xml=/education/2007/09/15/famother115.xml<br /><br />Or you can read on here....<br /><br /><strong>The mother-in-law of all battles</strong><br />Last Updated: 12:01am BST 15/09/2007<br /><br /><em>Dare to marry another woman's son? That's just asking for trouble, says Sarah Ebner</em><br /><br />When Tania Harper's mother-in-law came to visit her, she brought with her two bibs, presents for Tania's baby son, Paul. One bib announced: "I love my Daddy." The other proclaimed: "I love my cat." Mummy, it was clear, did not merit a mention.<br /><br />"It's absolutely typical," fumes Tania. "She's made it clear that I am surplus to requirements. When we see her friends, she tells them: 'This is my little boy.' Or: 'This is my son's little boy.' I feel like the invisible woman."<br /><br />Tania's experiences will be familiar to millions of women. For want of a better name, we can call it "mother-in-law syndrome". It's what happens to so many innocent souls when they marry another woman's son.<br /><br />"By the way I love Paul, I can already appreciate that there's something very special between boys and their mothers," says Tania. "Maybe mothers-in-law are so awful because we've stolen their sons."<br /><br />Mums-in-law don't always get a great press, but it's often men who moan about them. Les Dawson and Bernard Manning weren't the only comedians to profit from mother-in-law jokes. But research suggests that men actually get off lightly. It's daughters-in-law who suffer.<br /><br />"Studies show that the mother-in-law, daughter-in-law relationship is the trickiest," says Terri Apter, a psychologist who's writing a book about the subject.<br /><br />"Men simply aren't as involved," she adds. "They can take a low profile."<br /><br />Apter says that daughters-in-law feel judged and pressured by their mothers-in-law. She's also found that even modern mothers-in-law disregard feminist sympathies when it comes to their boys.<br /><br />"They want what's best for their son. If that means suppressing their daughter-in-law's career, they think that's okay."<br /><br />Lorraine Gibb can echo that: "When I met my mother-in-law, I quickly discovered we had nothing in common except that we both loved her son. Now what really irritates me is the way she discounts anything which contradicts her view that I am an ambitious career woman who doesn't put her darling boy first. This is despite the fact that I do all the cooking, organise the household and, having produced two children, gave up my high-flying job to work part-time. She still seems to think that I could look after her beloved child better."<br /><br />When you marry, you often don't realise that you're not just marrying the man you love, but also his mother. Many in-laws are paragons of virtue and a joy to know. This article, however, isn't about them.<br /><br />"I went out of my way to be nice to her," says Gillian Campbell of her mother-in-law. "But she just never made the effort with me. She doesn't ask me anything about myself and always expects me to run around after her. She visited four days after I gave birth and still expected me to make her a cup of tea. She told me it would 'do me good' to get up and about. I'd had a caesarean."<br /><br />But Gillian knew from her wedding day what she was in for. "My sister went in to see that everything was ready in the church and saw Ian's mum. She introduced herself, saying: 'Gillian looks lovely. Isn't it a wonderful day?' Ian's mum - who was dressed all in black - just looked at her and said: 'Well, I think it's a very sad day.'<br /><br />"My sister rushed out to tell me not to get married because my mother-in-law-to-be was so awful."<br /><br />Problems with in-laws can veer from the foolish ("She hates the fact that I'm from London," says Celia Sharman, whose husband is from Nottingham) to the ridiculous ("She couldn't believe that I had a daughter when she'd always wanted one," says Lorraine Gibb). One woman even put a private detective on t her potential daughter-in-law. Amazingly, the couple went on to marry. Less surprisingly, they have now divorced.<br /><br />Gillian Campbell admits she was so innocent when she got engaged that she didn't think it mattered what her mother-in-law was like. "But she made it obvious that Ian could have done so much better. She's always thought I wasn't good enough."<br /><br />It's strange how all the women I spoke to, bar one, had mothers-in-law who didn't have daughters of their own. The one who did have a daughter (Celia Sharman's) didn't get on with her. Also, none of the mothers had sisters and none had got on with their mothers. This may be entirely anecdotal but it does suggest difficulty relating to other women.<br /><br />But perhaps the real problem with mothers-in-law is the very name. It sounds like your own mother, someone you love, who's brought you up and knows you. Mothers-in-law, however, are thrust upon you.<br /><br />"My mother-in-law has only ever bought me one present," says Tania Harper. "She arrived at our house smiling, and I was really touched, because she'd never got me anything before. Then she opened her bag and got out a T-shirt. It said: 'My mother-in-law went to Crete and all she bought me was this lousy T-shirt.' I was stunned. Then she said: 'You are going to wear it, aren't you?' "<br /><br />Names have been changed.<br /><br /><em>DOS AND DON'TS</em><br /><br />Be realistic. High expectations are bound to be dashed. Why should you expect a close and fulfilling relationship when you haven't chosen each other?<br /><br />Remember she is not your mother, which means she isn't, necessarily, on your side. Watch who you complain about her to. Sympathetic female friends are probably better than husbands. You don't want your marriage affected.<br /><br />Damage limitation may be the wisest option. It could be that a slightly cooler relationship is the best you can do.<br /><br />Don't think that children will make you bond with your mother-in-law. They just offer lots more opportunities for conflict.family travel timeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16253129730240938777noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7846615355751199217.post-21132313447780057072007-08-31T04:59:00.000-07:002007-08-31T05:03:34.368-07:00Hallam Foe - how the original writer feels!Please read my article about turning books into films. I interviewed Peter Jinks, author of the much acclaimed Hallam Foe, for it. The film - which stars Jamie Bell and Sophia Myles - is out today. The book is excellent by the way..<br /><br /><em>Having your book turned into a film, says Peter Jinks, author of Hallam Foe, is like “handing over your baby for a medical experiment.”</em><br />“You have to be aware that it’s going to be changed,” adds Jinks. “You can’t be surprised if it comes back with limbs in different places.”<br />Hallam Foe, an unusual coming of age tale about voyeurism and a boy’s tense relationship with his new stepmother, was Jinks’ first novel. It was critically acclaimed on publication, but not a huge best-seller, and Jinks admits that he was surprised when Scottish director David McKenzie (a former flat-mate of his) wanted to adapt it for the big screen. <br />“Everyone who writes a book hopes it will get optioned and made into a film,” says Jinks. “But I didn’t have any idea how it would work with my book. I knew that I liked Dave’s films and that he understood the underlying idea of the novel, but the book was just source material. They’ve been making their own piece of art.”<br />Hallam Foe – which stars Jamie Bell and Sophia Myles – is released today. But what made this particular book ripe for a film translation? And why are so many novels turned into films anyway?<br />“A book is something that actually exists,” says director McKenzie, whose two previous films, Young Adam and Asylum, were also based on novels. “It’s easier to galvanise people around a book than a screenplay, because it’s a tangible thing.<br />“Books are objects and people need objects to take hold of in the film business because there’s so much talk,” he adds. “It also means there’s a narrative there. With this book, I really liked the idea. It wasn’t your average coming of age stuff.”<br />But moving from the written word to the big screen is not always the easiest thing to do. Books are constantly turned into films, but for every big commercial and critical success – the Lord of the Rings films or The English Patient, for example - there are others which do not reach the heights they aspire to. The Da Vinci Code is one current case in point, but it joins many others including Captain Corelli’s Mandolin and Jonathan Safran Foer’s Everything is Illuminated.<br />“A good book does not necessarily make a good film,” says Nick Marston, who runs the film and television department at literary agents Curtis Brown. “It’s such a combination of different talents, a translation into a totally different medium and a genuinely collaborative procedure.”<br />Almost every week it seems as if a book is either being turned into a screenplay (recent examples include Lionel Shriver’s award winning We Need to Talk about Kevin, Susanna Clarke’s Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell, and Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials) or actually being released. Many of th4em are award-winning, from Rebecca to Brokeback Mountain.<br />“What we want is a really good story and a richness of character,” says Amelia Granger from film producers Working Title. “But what everyone is looking for is the holy grail – a manuscript that is brilliantly written, commercially appealing and yet prize winning!”<br />Granger is constantly on the look-out for new material, whether fiction or non-fiction. “True-life is often more exciting,” she says. “It all depends on the story and how good it is. If it’s original and feels like a world that hasn’t been seen before, then it may well be inspirational for a film.”<br />It’s true that film-makers don’t limit themselves simply to fiction. Fast Food Nation, Syriana and Munich are all based on non-fiction work, and in many ways, it’s the success of a book which helps to get it made. <br />“If a book has done well, it does give it a head start in terms of brand identity,” admits Nick Marston.<br />Last year, Marston set up a new in-house development and production arm at Curtis Brown. Its very existence demonstrates how many authors and agents have become more demanding when it comes to optioning their work. <br />“We did it because we felt that material wasn’t being fully developed and that there wasn’t enough imaginative twinning of writers and material,” says Marston. “It’s still the case that more things get optioned than get made, but some companies have really wised up and I don’t think we’re going to see such huge money coming out of the studios anymore.”<br />Amelia Granger agrees that in the past, “the creative process was being stifled,” by huge options on books which were then left languishing in development. She says that what authors and agents want now is an assurance that a film version of their book will actually get made.<br />“For example, we took on Ian McEwen’s Atonement for a director, Joe Wright (who made Pride and Prejudice) and a screenwriter, Christopher Hampton,” she says. “A creative approach was what was wanted and that was what we provided.”<br />For Peter Jinks the whole experience has been a delight, although he’s still overwhelmed by his visit to the set.<br />“I felt a bit like a ghost drifting around, but it was really emotional, a nice feeling,” he says. “It was a bit like seeing a dream become flesh.” And he adds that, although he’s currently writing a third novel, he has another ambition.<br />“I would like to write my own original screenplay,” he says.<br />Endsfamily travel timeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16253129730240938777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7846615355751199217.post-65937995489526644302007-08-28T07:23:00.000-07:002007-08-28T07:25:51.518-07:00My son reeled into the room and I knew something was horribly wrong...Today I have a very sad article in the Daily Mail about a boy who died, suddenly, leaving his family devastated. They chose to donate his organs - helping many other people.<br />Here is the link to the article, http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/health/healthmain.html?in_article_id=478232&in_page_id=1774&in_a_source=<br /><br />Or here is it in full...<br /><br /><strong>My son reeled into the room and I knew something was horribly wrong...</strong><br /><br /><em>On this day four years ago, 16-year-old Martin Burton died suddenly from a brain haemorrhage. His parents, Nigel, 48, and Sue, 47, donated his organs for transplantation, saving one boy's life and helping many others. Here, Sue tells SARAH EBNER the tragic story of what happened to her son... </em><br /><br />"Martin was hooked up to tubes and monitoring equipment, but he seemed peaceful. I couldn't believe we had lost him, even though I knew he was brain dead. <br /><br />He was pink and warm, and looked as if he were asleep. I sat and held his hand for hours and hours. <br /><br />We had decided to donate Martin's organs and were asked if we wanted to take him into theatre. I declined. I'd been there for 36 hours and at some point we had to make a break. But the hardest moment for me was walking out of that hospital. I knew I was leaving my son behind. <br /><br />Martin's death was the most profound loss, something you cannot imagine until it happens. Losing a child is the wrong order of things. All your hopes, your plans, your dreams of their future and your future are shattered. <br /><br />You have to get used to a new life with a big part missing for ever. And that's the hard part to accept: that it is for ever. <br /><br />Immediately after Martin died, I was too upset to think about the boy who received Martin's heart. Now I do think about him, particularly on days like today, the anniversary of Martin's death. It's as important a day for his family as ours, and I don't doubt that his parents give thanks every day for our decision. <br /><br />It was the school holidays. Martin was his usual boisterous self. He'd gone to bed fine, but in the early hours of August 27, I heard a thud. It sounded like he had fallen out of bed. <br /><br />Martin was often noisy, so I didn't thud. It sounded like he had fallen out Martin was often noisy, so I didn't worry. But the noise continued, like a banging. I realise now he was probably staggering and hitting the walls and furniture. <br /><br />I sat up in bed and shouted: 'Martin, what are you doing?' The banging continued, so I called out: 'Are you all right?' He appeared in my bedroom doorway. 'Are you all right?' I repeated. <br /><br />He looked at me with a glazed, confused expression. I realise now his brain was shutting down; he probably couldn't see or hear me, and he certainly couldn't speak. I've re-lived the expression on his face millions of times. <br /><br />Martin staggered towards the bed and collapsed on it. I thought it was concussion, so I shook him. <br /><br />He then rolled over and fell on the floor. I didn't realise it at the time, but he was in a deep coma. <br /><br />I now feel naïve that I didn't realise how serious it was, but he seemed fine when he went to bed. <br /><br />When I couldn't wake Martin up, I rang for an ambulance and it took us straight to Grantham Hospital. Nigel, my husband, was working in the RAF in Las Vegas when this happened, while my elder son Chris was staying with his girlfriend. When we got to the hospital, Martin was whisked away and I was left in reception. <br /><br />I was in a daze - it seemed unreal. After a while, a nurse told me Martin was really ill and suggested I phone somebody. I rang my parents. <br /><br />When they arrived, we were taken to see Martin, who was on a life support machine. We were told he'd had a brain haemorrhage (bleeding in the brain) and were advised to tell Nigel to come home. <br /><br />Martin was transferred to the Queen's Medical Centre in Nottingham at 5am. Three hours later, the consultant said the extent of the bleeding was so great that there was nothing they could do. He then asked if I would consider donating Martin's organs. <br /><br />I immediately said yes. Although we had never discussed it, I was sure Nigel would agree. I think Martin would have wanted it, too. <br /><br />He was young and healthy. He'd had no illness, no medication and no injuries. The only part of him that was damaged was his brain. I thought that if I could save one mother from going through the nightmare of losing someone, it was worth it. <br /><br />And I did save a family from that hell because Martin's heart went to a 15-year-old boy who'd had only hours to live. Hopefully he will now live a long, healthy life. <br /><br />But while I do think about that boy, there's no comfort for me in the donation. Maybe there is consolation in knowing Martin did not die in vain. But at the moment I still see it as them having what I want: they've got a healthy son. <br /><br />Martin was kept alive on life support until Nigel got home. It took him three flights and he arrived at 9.30am the next day. <br /><br />I sat by Martin's bedside for all that time. Apart from a dressing over the pressure gauge which had been inserted into his brain, he had no injuries to his face or body, so didn't look any different. It was as if he was still alive. <br /><br />When Nigel and I saw each other, we were in floods of tears. <br /><br />You have to sign an agreement for each individual organ. You can say yes to some and no to others, and you also decide, if the organs aren't fit to be used, whether you want them to be left in the body or taken for research. <br /><br />We said yes to everything, but no to the research. I've never seen the donation as a violation of Martin's body, but I think I felt giving his organs for research would be. <br /><br />Because he was a multiple organ donor, we had to wait until all the doctors were ready, which wasn't until 8pm that night. I didn't want to see Martin go, so the transplant co-ordinator accompanied him to theatre for me. Nigel and I then left the hospital. YOU choose if you want to know what happens to the organs and we decided we wanted information. <br /><br />Martin's lungs, heart, liver, both kidneys and both corneas were donated. All the organs were used that night, or in the early hours of the following morning, apart from the corneas. They were frozen and I don't know if they've been used. <br /><br />Except for his heart, Martin's other organs went to older people. His liver to a middle-aged man; his lungs to an elderly gentleman; one kidney to another elderly man; the other to an elderly woman. <br /><br />I would have liked more of Martin's organs to have gone to children because I feel enormous empathy with the mother My Lifesaver of the boy who has Martin's heart. <br /><br />But when we agreed to donate them we knew we had no say in what happened. They must go to the person who has the best chance of receiving them successfully and that's much more important than age. <br /><br />Still, we would love to meet any of the recipients. It would be nice if the transplant teams around the country could encourage contact between the families by letter for a longer period of time - perhaps an exchange of photos to make it less anonymous for both families. <br /><br />Currently, they can only send an anonymous thank-you letter, with transplant co-ordinators acting as go-betweens. But I do realise it must be hard for the recipient families to know what to say. <br /><br />At the time, we didn't know why Martin had collapsed. He'd always seemed healthy. We now know that he'd had a brain haemorrhage because of an arteriovenous malformation of the brain, or AVM, and that it could have happened at any time. AVMs occur when blood vessels develop in a malformed way. <br /><br />Blood is normally pumped by the heart to the brain via arteries. When it's in the brain it's nourished by the capillaries before going back through the veins. <br /><br />When you have an AVM, you don't have these capillaries. This means there's pressure on the blood vessels, which can rupture. <br /><br />The consultant who looked after Martin described it to me as being like a twig - fine one minute, then snapping. The bleed would have been so catastrophic that Martin's brain would have started to shut down in a few minutes. <br /><br />The brain haemorrhage caused Martin's death, but that was caused by the AVM, something he was born with. He could have collapsed at school or out with his friends, but he happened to be in bed. I'm grateful for that because I hope in his last thoughts, he knew I was there. <br /><br />It's now four years since Martin died, but life never goes back to normal. The pain never goes away, but you learn to cope with it. <br /><br />At first, I couldn't remember Martin's life; I could only remember the death. <br /><br />It was a long time, maybe a year, before I could think back to the good times. But memories are there for ever. Now I remember Martin with a lot of smiles. He was that sort of a person."<br /><br />For more details about the Donor Family Network - a charity run by donor families for other donor families - see www.donorfamilynetwork.co.uk.family travel timeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16253129730240938777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7846615355751199217.post-51432643257909683832007-08-18T11:49:00.000-07:002007-08-18T11:53:47.527-07:00‘My Scottish ancestors were heroes’Hello<br />This weekend I have a "First person" article in the FT magazine. It is about a fascinating woman called Pearl Duncan, who has a great story to tell about her family history.<br />You can read it online here, http://www.ft.com/cms/s/6d4f7fc4-4a09-11dc-9ffe-0000779fd2ac.html<br />Or here....<br /><br /><em>‘My Scottish ancestors were heroes’</em><br />‘Many black Americans are afraid, as I was initially, of finding a slave trader in their family tree,’ says Pearl Duncan <br /><br />First Person: Pearl Duncan<br />As told to Sarah Ebner <br /><br />Published: August 18 2007 00:36 <br /><br />When I started to look into my family tree, I couldn’t have imagined the conflict it would cause. I spent 10 years researching my ancestors, and a lot of people didn’t like what I had to say at the end of it. I’d tracked the cultural history that shaped my DNA in America, Europe and Africa, and discovered that not all white men in the British colonies who fathered children with black women in the 18th century were evil slavers. I found at least one ancestor who was an abolitionist and who did not abandon his children.<br /><br />My family emigrated from Jamaica to New York when I was young, and I was always fascinated by where I had come from. My parents told me we were descended from the Maroons, or runaway slaves. Years later, when I went to our old family graves just outside Kingston, Jamaica, I couldn’t believe it when I found our birth and baptismal records dating back to the 1700s.<br /><br />I now know that my roots are incredibly diverse: I am descended from slaves; from free people who worked and bought their freedom; from Maroon warriors who waged military rebellions in Jamaica against slavery; also from British merchants, and European and African nobility.<br /><br />My Jamaican grandmother’s name was Rebecca Smellie and her ancestor was John Smellie, a Scottish merchant. In 1726 in Jamaica he had a child, George, with a “free negro” whose name was Ann Roberts. Even though there were penalties at that time – huge fines, deportation, imprisonment – for keeping records of black children, John Smellie left birth and baptism records with George’s name on them.<br /><br />Three of John Smellie’s Scottish descendants settled in Jamaica on land he left them. One of them was called William Smellie and he died in 1800. He was an abolitionist, and when I found his will it showed that he left the maximum amount allowed under the slavery laws to his mixed-race children and their mother. Finding out about both these men changed everything for me. I had thought I was learning about the awful people who owned slaves, but instead I was discovering heroism, and people who stood up for what they thought was right.<br /><br />I followed up these discoveries with research in Scotland, hiring Scottish genealogists and local historians. It turned out that John Smellie was of noble birth. I sent the records to the Court of The Lord Lyon, the heraldic authority for Scotland, which said I qualified for a coat of arms. I now have one that reflects the diversity of my ancestry.<br /><br />My research also took me to Ghana. I tracked down dozens of ancestors and collected DNA from Ghanaian families whose names matched nicknames still used in my family. I spent a lot of time on the linguistic research, and DNA confirmed the connection. As far as I know, I was one of the first people in the world to use DNA in this way.<br /><br />I’ve written a book about my research but publishers seem to think it’s too contentious to publish. Talking about black ancestors who rebelled apparently goes against how Americans see these people – slaves were victims, not rebels. Editors are happy to accept stories about slaves who escaped one at a time, but they don’t like the idea that they grouped together and stood up for themselves. That’s too threatening.<br /><br />I’ve also learned that many black Americans are afraid, as I was initially, of finding a slave trader in their family tree, so they don’t really want to talk about their European ancestors. I got into trouble with my black friends for saying that John Smellie was a more caring man than many other colonials because he left a record of his child.<br /><br />When you start looking into your genealogy, you have to come to terms with admirable and despicable behaviour, and that’s what I’ve done.family travel timeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16253129730240938777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7846615355751199217.post-527215497275666522007-07-25T10:21:00.001-07:002007-07-25T10:24:22.716-07:00Who says single men can't adopt?I have an article in the Times about single men who choose to adopt. It's really very interesting indeed (trust me!)<br />Here is the <a href="http://http://timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/men/article2124934.ece">link</a>...<br />Or here is the text.....<br /><br /><strong>Who says lone men can’t adopt?</strong><br />The number of single male adopters in Britain is small but growing. Sarah Ebner talks to three happy fathers<br /><br />Last year 3,700 children were adopted from care. Many more, desperate for a family, were disappointed – but adoption agencies have begun to look farther afield. Unmarried heterosexual and gay couples can now adopt jointly, while another small but growing part of the adoptive parent network is single people. And while it’s true that most single adopters are female, there are some men, too. <br /><br />Single men are probably the most maligned group of adoptive parents, and are subjected to intense questioning about why they want to become fathers. <br /><br />Although it is not illegal for a single man to adopt a female child, it happens rarely. Single male adopters tend to adopt boys who are slightly older than the average. As in any adoption, the child’s needs must be paramount. <br /><br />David Holmes, chief executive of the British Association for Adoption and Fostering (BAAF), says: “It is a myth that single men can’t adopt. The number of single male adopters is small but growing. What children need most is security and stability, and in most cases this is more important than the gender of the carer. <br /><br />“We know that single people can do just as well as couples, and we encourage adoption agencies to think about what single men and women have to offer. The national minimum standards for adoption state that people who are interested in becoming adoptive parents will be welcomed without prejudice.” <br /><br />Here, three single men recount how they became adoptive fathers. <br /><br /><br /><br />—<em> Richard Stuart, 42, lives in Sandhurst, Berkshire, with his two adopted sons, Paul, 18, and Aron, 12. Richard, who also fosters two teenage boys, looks after the children full-time.</em> <br /><br />“I thought I’d have all the normal things in life – kids, a wife and a dog – but it doesn’t always work out like that,” he says. “When I was 23, a close friend died. I took her loss badly. I got to 27 and hadn’t had any serious relationships since her death. But I’m an impatient person and wasn’t happy. I had always wanted to be a dad, and began to think that I would never have kids. <br /><br />“I was surprised when I found out that single men could adopt. However, my local authority said that although they were legally obliged to carry out all the checks on me, they had never taken on a single male adopter before. <br /><br />“It took me three years with different agencies to be approved. Eventually I went to an independent adoption service and they took me on. I had to be thoroughly checked, but that didn’t bother me. If you can’t put up with the checks and intrusiveness then you shouldn’t try to adopt in the first place. I’d have given everything I had to be a dad, so I was prepared to be harassed. <br /><br />“Once I was approved, I went to a matching panel. Paul, who was nearly 10, had been in a care home and I was his last chance. He really wanted a family, and there was something about him that made me want him. We clicked. <br /><br />“Everything changed after Paul came. I had no social life and couldn’t go anywhere without him following me. But it was what I wanted. I chose to do it. However, it was an issue that I was a single man. I ran a huge Cub pack, and once Paul came the numbers nosedived. People thought that I must be odd, or that Paul was potentially dangerous. <br /><br />“I lost some friends when Paul arrived but made new ones, too. I didn’t really care what people thought of me but I did care what they thought of Paul. <br /><br />“Two years later I got Aron, who was then 6, and I now sit on an adoption panel. I don’t have relationships because I don’t have time, but I don’t think the boys miss having a mum. I’d have liked to adopt a girl but it was difficult enough getting a boy as a single man. <br /><br />“I’m exceptionally proud of the boys, even though they completely wind me up. They really do complete my life, and I have no regrets.” <br /><br /><br />—<em> Thierry Lambert, 34, lives in Wiltshire with his adopted son, Liam, 8. He works for Wiltshire police. </em>“I first met Liam in April last year. I walked into the room at his foster home and he looked up and said, ‘Hello Dad, I’m just having a sandwich, I’ll be there in a minute’. It felt incredible. When I left, I shed more tears than I’d ever done in my life. I was so happy. <br /><br />“I had always wanted children and was in a seven-year relationship where we were planning to have them, but we broke up in 2003. I was just turning 30 and wasn’t keen to start over again. What if I met someone new, then waited more years to have a child, only for it not to happen again? <br /><br />“I came across adoption on the internet and it seemed like a great idea. For me, the child was more important than the partner, and adoption cut out that relationship completely. I contacted Wiltshire social services and they didn’t think it was a problem. I went on a course which was very female-orientated (everything was about mothers), but I met nice people and no one was especially negative. However, some people did ask if I was gay. <br /><br />“I also had an in-depth assessment. Every angle was covered – my social group, my work, what support I had, even how a child would cope with me being diabetic. <br /><br />“It took nearly a year to get approval. I did have relationships during that time but they didn’t last. The adoption was my priority. <br /><br />“Liam’s father had died and he hadn’t had a particularly good experience with his mother. Because of this he found it difficult to trust women. He needed a father. <br /><br />“I was sent the forms of 20 possible children, and when I saw Liam I said, ‘That’s the one. That’s my son’. <br /><br />“Liam moved in last May and I’ve had to adjust more than him – being more tired, more responsible, making sure that he gets fed and bathed and does his homework. <br /><br />“But it’s completely worth it. Liam makes me laugh every day and I feel I’ve known him since he was born. I adopted him on October 10, 2006 and he says that I’m his real dad. I feel this was meant to be.” <br /><br />— <em>John Williams*, 47, lives on Anglesey in Wales with his two adopted sons, *Keith, 21, and *Jamie, 20. He also fosters two boys aged 11 and 12, and looks after the children full-time. </em><br /><br />“When I was told that I would be adopting two brothers aged 9 and 10, I was concerned. They sounded so grown-up and I thought that they would have missed out on so much. But when I met the boys I couldn’t believe how small they were. I knew they were the ones for me. <br /><br />“I’ve always loved children but although I was married briefly, we had no kids. After we broke up in 1992 I began thinking about adoption. I wanted a family but wasn’t keen on another relationship and didn’t want to risk getting hurt again. <br /><br />“I contacted Barnardo’s, who gave me a very thorough assessment. It wasn’t easy but I don’t think that it should be easy. I told my social worker right from the start that I would be open and honest. I had nothing to hide, and wanted to be a father more than anything. However, it is hard when you read so much about male abusers. You want to say, ‘That’s not every man’. <br /><br />“At that time I worked for the Ministry of Defence, and because I worked I was told that I would have to adopt school-age children. I was expecting a five-year-old! <br /><br />“The boys had been in foster care for more than three years. They felt very much that they were treated differently from the foster carer’s children and wanted a family of their own. Keith had written a letter saying that he wanted to live in the country with animals, and I was delighted to read that. It was my situation exactly, and he has loved being outdoors from Day 1. Meanwhile, Jamie, who barely spoke when he was with the foster carer, hasn’t stopped talking since he came here! He knew immediately that he belonged. <br /><br />“I told Jamie and Keith that there were lots of other children who would like to be adopted, but it was important to them that their adoption was special. They suggested fostering. <br /><br />“I wouldn’t change what I have for the world. I think how empty my life was before and take great pleasure in my sons’ achievements. Yes, I would have liked to have met someone and had children, but that didn’t happen. I haven’t had relationships since getting the boys, but my life is full and we are happy. I definitely feel that the boys are mine.” <br /><br />* Names have been changed.family travel timeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16253129730240938777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7846615355751199217.post-16776031077078347612007-06-06T05:08:00.000-07:002007-06-06T05:13:40.654-07:00Hired GunnToday I have an interview with Ali Gunn in the Guardian. She is the literary agent who now advises the Tories on lifestyle and women's issues. We met up a few weeks ago, and although I was expecting her to be very scary, she actually wasn't! I think that might be because she was worried about how she came across. She told me a few times that she didn't like talking about herself. "I like talking about other people," she said. "That's what I do." <br /><br />Anyway, here is the interview...(or to see it online, cut and paste this link:<br />http://politics.guardian.co.uk/conservatives/story/0,,2096420,00.html)<br /><strong><br />Hired Gunn</strong><br />One of London's leading literary agents, Ali Gunn has been advising the Conservative party on 'lifestyle' issues for the past year. Sarah Ebner hears her views on class, Cameron and the women's vote<br /><br />Sarah Ebner<br />Wednesday June 6, 2007<br /><br />Guardian<br /><br />Ali Gunn is a reluctant interviewee. It has taken months of cajoling to persuade the Tories' first "Head of lifestyle and features" to talk, and she is visibly uncomfortable. "This whole thing is terrifying me," she says, with only a half smile. "In 20 years of dealing with the media, I have only ever done one other interview, and that was for Publishing News. Now I won't give one for another 20 years."<br />Gunn has long been known in the publishing world as a tough literary agent, noted for the huge advances she negotiates for her clients. She represents celebrities such as Nancy Dell'Olio and Carol Thatcher, as well as best-selling novelists including Jenny Colgan (who recently landed a £1m advance to write two new novels).<br /><br />Almost a year ago, Gunn was asked to lend her expertise to the Conservative party, after a mutual acquaintance set up a meeting between her and David Cameron's closest adviser, Steve Hilton. She is now an important part of Cameron's coterie, working for the party "at least" one day a week.<br /><br />It has been said that her key responsibility is to persuade women to vote Tory, but Gunn says her remit is wider than that, explaining, "What I'm actually doing is looking, overall, at what we're doing with all our people in all our areas. It's much more about engaging the media and the electorate in our key personalities and our policies and not just about women. It never has been."<br /><br />But it is also true that now, more than ever, the Conservative Party is frantically reaching out to women. The Tories' dismal electoral outings over the past 10 years haven't been helped by their dearth of women MPs (at the last election, just 9% of Tory MPs were women, compared to Labour's 27.5%). Cameron has therefore been making changes, with women now accounting for around 33% of the Tory candidates selected for the next election. Whether they are in winnable seats remains to be seen. They certainly need to be - as Theresa May has pointed out, there are fewer women in the shadow cabinet than men with the name of David.<br /><br />While her remit may extend beyond the women's vote, Gunn notes that she is "working on a big new campaign about equal pay ... It's a cause that's very close to my heart, having worked over the years for many organisations where, not necessarily me, but other women were woefully underpaid. It all goes back to being a working mother as well. It is very hard to juggle your life and get childcare at the right times. What do you do in school holidays and at half-term? Your life is a constant negotiation.<br /><br />"David and his team believe in women. He knows that women make up over half the workforce. He is not a traditionalist. He believes in flexible working hours. He believes that if you want to stay at home, that's fine, but if you want to go to work, that's absolutely fine as well. I think he is probably the most modern leader the Tories have had in 30 years."<br /><br />Warming to her theme, Gunn dismisses the Lib Dems as being a "busted flush" and is openly hostile to Labour's new leader. "I think life under Gordon Brown is going to be pretty miserable," she says, and, when I ask if Cameron is better for women than Brown, she nods vigorously. "Sans doute," she says, "for women and men."<br /><br />She is married to Nick Pople, head of an investment fund involved with environmental technology businesses and the couple have a four-year-old son, Jack. Gunn says, strikingly, that she suffers from none of the guilt that consumes many working mothers. "For me - and this is purely for me - I believe I am a better example for my son, as a mother and as a woman who works incredibly hard and wants to be there for him as much as I can. That's my choice."<br /><br />Indeed, her personal philosophy appears to be perfect for the Cameron-led Tories. She insists that, although she had a private education, she doesn't believe in class. "I was brought up to believe in meritocracy, I wasn't brought up to believe in class," she says. "I was brought up to believe that if you work hard, hopefully you will get to be where you want to be and what you want to be."<br /><br />Now 38, Gunn grew up in London's Notting Hill and attended Haberdashers' Aske's School for Girls, then boarded at Repton. But she won't be drawn on the current grammar school debate ("I'm not going to comment on that, because it's not my area of expertise"). However, she says she has always been interested in politics, and turned down a place to read law at Cambridge in order to read politics at Bristol.<br /><br />Her father, John, is one of Britain's leading investors in smaller businesses, but she says her parents were not interested in politics. She notes, though, that her mother's experience of growing up in and leaving communist East Germany was a major influence in her decision to vote Conservative. "My mother escaped from the Berlin wall three days before it was finished, and left her whole family behind. We used to go through Checkpoint Charlie like other people go to Bognor Regis on holiday, and we used to try and help them as much as we could, emotionally and fiscally.<br /><br />"With what my mother went through, under the thumb of communism, it would have been very strange for me not to have believed in the free market economy and the right of free speech. I always used to call myself a Whig actually. I believed in being strong on law and order without being fascistic, but also liberal on the social agenda, women's rights, that sort of thing."<br /><br />Gunn made her name in publishing while working at the big literary agency Curtis Brown. She admits that being a Tory in the traditionally left-of-centre publishing world has not always been easy. "You absolutely did not declare your political affiliation," she says of the early days of her career.<br /><br />When she left Curtis Brown to set up on her own 18 months ago, rumours abounded. Gunn initially insists that it was to "pursue my own opportunities". Later, however, she explains that "one of the major reasons for leaving a big agency which was run by men ... was to get more control over my life. I can take my son to school, and sometimes pick him up, and that makes me happier than anything."<br /><br />She is also extremely happy to have become involved with the Busoga Trust (busogatrust.co.uk), a charity which seeks to provide clean water in rural Uganda. "What attracted me," she says, "was that in some small way it was helping to empower women in Uganda, whose lives were hitherto spent fetching and carrying water. Women are the mainstay of family society in Uganda, and if, through water, we can help them to help themselves, that has to be good, right?"<br /><br />Gunn says she "decided what my priorities were in my life a couple of years ago. Trying to get the Tories elected would be one of them, definitely, and trying to get our message across, not just to women, but to everybody. Another would obviously be looking after my son, and also Chelsea winning the league next season. I am driven - yes, very - by the fact that I don't want to fail," she adds. "And also by the fact that I want to provide a good future for Jack."<br /><br />Gunn is something of a contradiction. She is articulate but appears hesitant; and while she is clearly tough, she appears worried about how she is going to come across during the interview - she has a crib sheet with her, and ponders each answer carefully. Although she has a reputation for negotiating the biggest possible deals for her clients, she is charging the Tories far less than her usual rate. "Sometimes you have to do things because you really believe in them," she says firmly, "not for the money."family travel timeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16253129730240938777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7846615355751199217.post-25687067251544813622007-06-02T04:20:00.000-07:002007-06-02T04:23:30.840-07:00It’s only make-believe...Today I have an article in the Times about the phenomenon that is Rainbow Magic (huge for girls aged between 5-8). The books are "created" by a company which comes up with series to order......Read more here, http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/books/article1869918.ece<br />or below<br /><br /><strong>It’s only make-believe</strong><br />Sarah Ebner looks at the bestselling children’s writers who don’t actually exist<br /><br />YOUNG READERS CAN’T GET enough of Daisy Meadows. Her Rainbow Magic books have sold ten million copies and girls aged between 5 and 8 are enraptured by the tales of Kirsty, Rachel and their fairy friends. <br /><br />Ms Meadows should be a happy soul. Except that she doesn’t exist. <br /><br />“It is unusual for children’s books to be written under a pseudonym,” Penny Morris, a director of Orchard, which publishes Rainbow Magic, agrees. “But it needed to happen in this case because there is more than one writer. Ownership remains with Working Partners, not the authors.” <br /><br />Daisy is actually three people – and most people outside publishing will never have heard of Working Partners, who are responsible for her, and a huge number of other books. As well as Rainbow Magic, their creations include the Animal Ark series (“by” the equally nonexistent Lucy Daniels), the Lady Grace Mysteries and Warriors series. A series for boys aged 7-9 entitled Beast Quest is now in development. The company has deals with almost every big British children’s publisher, and is moving into the adult market (its first novel is out next year). <br /><br />“I am surprised that they are the only company of their kind in Britain,” Ms Morris says. “But it would be difficult to match them. They now cover all the bases with their ideas.” <br /><br />The company, set up 12 years ago, aims its books at specific audiences. “We want projects that are going to run for a very long time,” Chris Snowdon, the managing director, says. But he bridles at suggestions that the formula destroys the magic of being a writer. “A lot of people in books try to create a cult of the author, but a lot of demystification can be done.” <br /><br />All Working Partners’ ideas come from its editorial team – not authors – and are developed in meetings. Once a story has been created, two people build it up, and authors compete to write it. “The storyline can be up to 2,500 words,” Snowdon says. “Rainbow Magicbooks are only 4,500 words long, so that’s a lot of detail. But it can be liberating because the writer is free to focus on the voice.” <br /><br />Some writers might be aghast at idea, plot and structure being taken away, and Snowdon agrees that it’s a precise way to work. “We tell new writers our rules and that they shouldn’t deviate from the story,” he says. “If they have their own ideas, that’s fine, but they should tell us. Our integrity as a business is the ownership of the idea.” <br /><br />Narinder Dhami, a children’s writer in her own right, is also one of Working Partners’ most prolific authors. She wrote Ruby the Red Fairy, the first Rainbow Magic adventure. “I prefer coming up with my own ideas,” she says, “but when those aren’t flowing very well, it’s a nice change to have someone send you a synopsis and tell you what to do.” <br /><br />Many parents and teachers argue that the books are not great literature. Snowdon agrees, but adds: “I don’t know what great literature is, and I’d be interested to ask these people what they think it is. In this country there’s a huge snobbery about books, but we’re creating a reading habit.” <br /><br />In fact, Working Partners no longer own Rainbow Magic (although they are working on the next two series). Ruby, and her fairy companions grew too big and were sold to HIT Entertainment last month. HIT, whose stable includes Thomas the Tank Engine and Bob the Builder, promises to build the fairies into a “global brand”. <br /><br />Working Partners will focus on other titles. And while they may have “lost” Daisy Meadows, they haven’t lost the writers behind her. Children might not know their real names, but they’ll soon have more of their stories.family travel timeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16253129730240938777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7846615355751199217.post-65755151616463393852007-06-01T11:40:00.000-07:002007-06-01T11:46:19.958-07:00Turning out to be Jewish - what is it like to find out that you're not what you think you were?Today I have an article in the Jewish Chronicle. <br />Here it is....<br /><br />Roderick Young was 23 when he found out that he was Jewish. It completely changed his life. <br />“I knew I was home”, he says of his first Friday night dinner. “It felt completely comfortable and right. I can’t say more than that. You can’t explain the inexplicable.”<br />Young, now 47, had no idea of his Jewish roots. He was christened at three weeks old and attended chapel twice a week at his public school. But discovering his Jewishness was a clearly an enriching experience. Eight years ago, he became a rabbi.<br />Barbara Kessel is the author of <em>Suddenly Jewish</em>, a book which tells the stories of Jews raised as gentiles, who discover their roots. She was prompted to write it by the experience of former US Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, who found out she was Jewish at the age of 59.<br />“I was so shocked and intrigued,” says Kessel. “I just wondered what it was like to find out that you’re not who you think you are.”<br />Kessel says that Young’s response, of feeling comfortable or “home”, is common. “It isn’t so much that they found out they were Jewish, but that they had been given an explanation of why they didn’t feel whole,” she says. “Some had even converted to Judaism before finding out.”<br />Rabbi Young’s Jewishness was hidden away from him on purpose (even his name was his mother’s attempt to situate him firmly in “English” society). His grandmother had been embarrassed by her East-End Jewish roots, and, when her observant husband died, decided to cover them up completely. Young even grew up thinking that his grandmother, Julia Stewart, was descended from King Charles II, Charles Stuart. It was not until he found her wedding certificate that he discovered she was actually named Julia Siegenberg.<br />“Being Jewish was often seen as something that could hinder your professional advancement, so it would get lost along the way,” says Barbara Kessel. Often it was also seen as dangerous.<br />That is certainly true of Zoltan Boros’s family, who turned their back on their religion after the horrors of the Second World War. Boros, 30, (who works as a security guard at a Jewish school in London) grew up Christian in a small town in Hungary. He knew little about the Holocaust, and nothing at all about Jews. But after the collapse of Communism, he started to travel, and at the age of 20 went to Israel. “I loved it there,” he says. “I loved the people, the weather, the fact that everyone was smiling, not like at home.”<br />Keen to stay in the country, Boros asked his mother if there might just be some Jewish connection in the family. This, he thought, could enable him to make aliyah. “My mother told me, over the phone, that when I came home, we would talk,” he says. “I felt there was something she was going to tell me.”<br />When Boros came home, his mother told him the truth — at least as far as she knew it. “She said that our family was Jewish, that we originally had a different name, and that my great-grandmother, who was no longer alive, had been in Auschwitz. She also said that her mother, my grandma, didn’t like to talk about it, so I should leave her alone.” However, Boros immediately went to his grandmother. “I asked if she could tell me more, but she didn’t want to,” he says. “She was still scared, and said she didn’t want me to be Jewish. She has numbers on her arm, and perhaps they are from Auschwitz. I would like to know more, but she’s the only one who knows.”<br />Boros’s grandmother told him nothing, instead asking him to do something for her. “She asked me not to do aliyah and I promised her I wouldn’t,” he says. “I love and respect her.<br />“I don’t feel I am Jewish or Christian. For the last 10 years I’ve been around Jewish people, here and in Israel, so maybe in some way I’m Jewish. But I can’t say I feel it. I know who I am, but if I look back at the past, then I’m not so sure.”<br />Boros’s experience is not entirely unusual. Some of the people in <em>Suddenly Jewish </em>talk about feeling “nothing”, even though they accept that they are “biologically Jewish”. Many also find it hard to deal with the deception involved.<br />“It seems so hypocritical that their parents — the people who are supposed to teach you right from wrong — have lied and manipulated reality,” says Barbara Kessel. “Sometimes, it’s the actual revelation that’s extremely painful. One man was training in a Lutheran seminary. The day his mother told him, he was livid. He told her it had ruined his life, and that he never wanted to speak to her again. They have not spoken since.”<br />When Roderick Young’s elderly aunt told him that she and his mother had been born Jewish, his immediate reaction was anger. “I said I was never going to speak to my mother again and it took me a long time to understand,” he says. “I certainly felt I’d missed out on things, and that I should have been told.”<br />American journalist Stephen Dubner had been told, but did not understand. The best-selling author (he co-wrote <em>Freakonomics</em>) was the eighth child born to religious Catholic parents. But his parents had not hidden their Jewishness because of fear of persecution. Instead they had both, separately, converted. “I didn’t know what a Jew was when I was growing up,” says Dubner, 43. “Even though I knew on some level that my parents had once been Jewish, I didn’t connect that with me.”<br />It was not until Dubner moved to New York that he became more interested in Judaism. He was 23 when a friend told him that if his parents were Jewish, then he was too. “When I learned that I was halachically Jewish, that was very jarring to me,” he says. “It made me think, what kind of religion would claim me as a member even though I had never set foot in a synagogue or uttered a word of Hebrew? I didn’t think I was Jewish at all until then — I was a contentedly lapsed Catholic. But the curiosity made me want to be Jewish, and so did the move to New York, where being Jewish is a state of mind.”<br />Dubner — whose sisters and brothers remain Catholic — has made his Jewishness a major part of his life. His wife is Jewish, and they are bringing up their two children as practising Jews. But his relationship with his mother did suffer — although the pair were reunited before her death in 1999. “She saw my decision as a kind of naïve one, and a rejection of her faith,” he says. “She also saw a problem that when she died and was sent to heaven, it would be a heaven for Catholics, and forbidden for us ever to reunite. As a mother, that was a very painful thought.”<br />Dubner sat shivah when his mother died, and seems happy with his new faith, but it is Roderick Young — now principal rabbi at Finchley Reform Synagogue in London — whose life has changed beyond recognition. “Ma used to be worried about what I wanted to do with my life and I told her that when it happened, I would know. Well, it happened and I love it. I feel 125 per cent Jewish.”<br /><br /><br />The first female American Secretary of State, <strong>Madeleine Albright</strong>, is one of the most high-profile adults to suddenly discover that she was Jewish. Born in Czechoslovakia to a Catholic family, she left as a child in 1939, coming first to Britain and then to the US. As an adult, she became an Episcopalian. However, in 1997, Albright discovered that she had had three Jewish grandparents (they died in Auschwitz). Her parents had converted to Catholicism. “All this was a major surprise for me,” Albright said. “I have said many times my life was a reflection of the turbulence of the 20th century.”<br />Oscar-nominated film-maker <strong>Stephen Frears </strong>did not find out he was Jewish until his late twenties — and is not sure why the fact was hidden from him. The director of The Queen has described how he regularly attended Church of England services when he grew up in Leicester. It was not until his grandmother’s 90th birthday party, that his brother divulged the news. <br />“He said how pleased our grandmother was that I had married a Jewish girl — and that our mother was Jewish. Of course I was surprised that something like this had been concealed for so long.”<br />Playwright <strong>Sir Tom Stoppard</strong>, whose original name was Tomas Straussler, always knew there was Jewish blood in his family. But it was not until he was an adult that he discovered both of his parents were Jewish. Sir Tom’s father died when he was still a young child. After his Czech mother remarried the very English Kenneth Stoppard, she was keen to hide her Jewish origins. “It was protection for me, mainly,” Stoppard has said, adding that he does not consider himself Jewish or Christian. However, in an article published in 1999, “On Turning Out To be Jewish” he wrote about his state of mind “now that I’m Jewish”.family travel timeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16253129730240938777noreply@blogger.com0